The Person Holding You To The Ground Is You

The Person Holding You To The Ground Is You
Valeria Sabater

Written and verified by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 15 November, 2021

There are hundreds, maybe thousands of reasons why we get up each day. For that job that keeps us fed, for that family that enlightens and enriches us each morning, for our kids, for our partner, for those dreams that we are still working to realize.

There are many motivations that root us to that complex word that turns and sometimes, without much warning, makes us lose the path all of a sudden, disorienting us. This is when doubt rears its head… What is it that sustains me in this world? Why do things sometimes get out of our control?

What holds you to the ground is you. You with your decisions, you with the strength of your thoughts and your determination. You with the intensity of some very well managed emotions that spread their roots out to find grounding and strength…

We must not get confused. What keeps us holding on to life is not chance, nor the decisions that others make for you.

Destiny can be whimsical, but you are the one who chooses to open certain doors, you who must move on without the weights of others, without those stones that we keep finding in our individual paths and that would impede our growth if we did not leave them behind.

Today we want to talk to you about everything that is sustaining you in your daily life and about how you have to take control of that inner strength that we all have.

What sustains you, what makes you stronger and enriches you

Tree Woman

What enriches you is what feeds you from within and expresses itself outwardly. There is absolutely no use for you to get dressed every morning with a fake smile if, on the inside, you are inhabited by sadness and frustration.

There are those who sustain themselves based on false hopes. Through a simple “things will surely change,” “surely they will realize what I am worth and recognize me.” Feeding ourselves with hollow emotions and inspirations weakens us in an irreversible way.

If your roots spread out in unsettled ground, it will be impossible to maintain a proper inner balance. Nobody can grow if they are only offered insecurity, uncertainty, and false hope.

Maybe we are strong and capable adults on the outside, but on the inside, we go on being vulnerable; therefore, we are in need of a daily life where we can find recognition, reciprocity, hope, and positive emotions.

That said, do not focus all of your responsibility on others. The rest of the world does not have any obligation to make you happy in exchange for nothing. You too have a lot to do with it, given that each of us is the authentic creator of our own reality.

1. We have to say no to limiting thoughts

We all have dreams and desires, but sometimes, for whatever reason, we tell ourselves that “the train has already passed us byor “that kind of thing is outside of our reach.” Or even worse, “that things will turn out when it is the right time.”

Do not leave your life in the hands of an imprecise destiny. What counts is the here and now, an instant where your worst enemy can be you yourself through your limiting thoughts.

It does not matter what may have happened it the past: it is the past; it does not exist anymore, nor are you your failures from yesterday. Life needs a dose of courage and a brush stroke of daring covered with confidence. Change your thoughts and you will change your reality.

2. We have to take the power from those who weaken us

What are your strong points? It is possible that you are courageous, that your voice is one of those that only speaks the language of truth, and moreover, that you seek to give everything for others.

Woman With Line Before Sea

That said sometimes, many of these virtues and values find themselves canceled out by the influence of certain people. They are, in a manner of speaking, skillful reapers of others’ personal growth.

So it is not a matter of breaking that rooted connection. It is even possible for it to be a very close family member who puts walls around your dreams… Initially, it is not a matter of distancing ourselves from them, but rather taking away their power and authority.

Deactivate their influence in your mind; they are not you, they do not wear your shoes. You are the one who has to hold yourself to live with the most energy, emotional strength, and self-esteem possible.

Whatever wind may blow towards you filled with negativity, with mistrust or bitterness… let it go. Let it pass over you without really touching you…

3. The need to “heal ourselves” every day

Inner healing is a simple practice that will help you to keep yourself on your feet each day. Inner healing starts by recognizing yourself a little more each and every day. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to be your own priority.

Healing ourselves is also learning: learning to listen, to enrich that inner connection with yourself. Learning from your surroundings, from others. This stimulates your curiosity to feed new hopes each day. Cultivate your mind to be free.

Believing is creating. Change your thoughts to have new experiences and be the guide of your own life. With bravery and courage.

Images courtesy of Paula Nicho Cumez

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.