The Extraordinary Moments We Share

The Extraordinary Moments We Share
Valeria Sabater

Written and verified by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 15 November, 2021

Many of the most extraordinary moments in your life are ones that you share. These are bits of magical connectedness with extraordinary people. Whether they be friends, family members, summer flings, or the love of your life. They were, they are, and they will be happy moments that you appreciate and give you strength during hard times.

If you had photographic stills of every instant of your life, odds are that some scenes would have a special shine to them. These are moments of joy, well-being, and subtle balance. Those times when it seems like suddenly, everything in your life is harmonious. Instead of complaining that these moments of perfection don’t happen more often, you should be grateful that you were able to experience them.

“Time is not giving to you, but instants. It is your job to make time with every instant that you are given.”

-Georges Poulet-

In 1990, Martin Seligman went from studying depression or learned defenselessness to studying happiness. Since then, authors have written millions of books about how to “be happy.” They tell us how to be authors of these extraordinary experiences that we mentioned before. These books explain how to make skillful decisions, and to be architects of happiness, self-assurance, and personal confidence. Working on these aspects of our lives means that our day-to-day lives will better coincide with our personal needs.

Seligman’s positive psychology has received a lot of criticism. In fact, well-known psychiatrists and social psychologists like Jerome Wakefield from New York University believe that today’s society is obsessed with “being happy.” So obsessed, in fact, that we have simply forgotten how to tolerate or manage sadness and enjoy extraordinary moments. 

We forget that moments actually make up happiness. These are precious bits of time that come and go like shiny soap bubbles that pop and disappear… But, they leave us with smiles on our faces and the reminder of the magic we felt when we were kids.


Shared moments are the key to happiness

Close your eyes for a moment. Ask your memory to transport you to a happy time. In a little more than a second, you are there. Maybe you are doing something mischevious with your classmates, or playing in the pool with your siblings. The smell of chlorine and newly-mown grass comes flooding back. Maybe you see yourself with your grandparents, walking hand-in-hand and listening to their stories after school. Those extraordinary moments are so precious.

Your memory is predisposed to childhood memories. But, your happy moments can also be holding hands under the table or waking up next to your partner. And, of course, that memorable trip with your long-time friends.

These shared extraordinary moments connect to one another by the thread of your emotions, mutual understanding, and affection. They are a unique jewel in our most intimate thoughts and personal history. They are “life lived,” they are pieces of history that fulfill us.

Colleagues call Sonia Lyubormirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California, “the scientist of happiness.” She explains that being happy requires some work and effort. But, she says, if you invest time and effort into it, you will realize it can be quite fun.

Why is that? One way to achieve happiness is to learn how to connect with others. Having friends and significant relationships is a great way to cultivate more frequent “magical” moments. Sometimes, having a coffee with someone is enough for you to have a cathartic and happy moment. 

girls having coffee

You create your extraordinary moments

We have to look beyond cliched sayings about happiness. “It’s just around the corner,” or “happiness comes when you least expect it.” People say these things all the time. But you should be clear about a few things. A good attitude and self-confidence are the key to enjoying life. You have to be  open to new things. If you aren’t, it will be hard for you to enjoy life. You will encounter many closed doors unless you develop your ability to connect and your powers of observation. 

Apply the appropriate filters in your day-to-day life, and you will be able to create extraordinary moments. Consequently, you will enjoy life more.

“Memory is the perfume of the soul.”

-George Sand-

Tips for creating quality moments

The first strategy is knowing how to focus on things that matter. Keep in mind who and what is essential in your heart. As a result, you will be able to invest time, effort, and energy into these special aspects of your life.

The second step is generosity. Beautiful moments are often born when you do something for someone else or someone does something for you. They come about because you share things from the heart. You feel true affection for the other person. These instances are free of selfishness or hidden interests.

The third strategy is related to our ability to be in the present moment. How well do you live in the here and now? Because it is very important that you understand this – happiness is not scheduled. Don’t put off until tomorrow happiness you could feel today. 

people with masks

The last strategy is related to gratitude. You should understand that happiness, just as we said at the beginning, comes and goes. These magical moments won’t last forever. So, as long as you are enjoying them, you should also express gratitude. Say thank you for the special people around you. Appreciate being able to savor that experience that helps you grow as a person. As a result, you can give the best of yourself and feel worthy of those positive emotions.

In conclusion, don’t hesitate to cultivate these extraordinary moments whenever you can.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.