Is Starting From Scratch Possible Without Hurting Others?

· March 16, 2016

Thousands of people each year choose to change their life, leave home or distance themselves from their family. Others question whether or not they should do it because of their responsibilities, fear of the unknown or the existential void.

What is the motivation for disappearing? How do these people rebuild their life and part with the past? What are the consequences of neglecting the people around them?

Although at first the idea of ​​”leave everything” and “starting from scratch” can be very attractive to some people, the reality is that rebuilding a full life with completely new conditions is extremely difficult.

“To change your life on the outside, you must change yourself from the inside. At the time you are about to change, it is amazing how the universe begins to help you, and brings you what you need “

Louise Hay

Deciding on such a radical change without having a foundation will only increase our feeling of being adrift and cause us to repeat the same patterns of behavior that have already led us to unhappiness in the past.

The most common reasons why people tend to make the decision to cut all ties with their past are:


  • Fear of commitment.
  • Excess responsibilities (acquired or imposed).
  • Feeling of living a meaningless life.
  • Not feeling comfortable with themselves.
  • Traumatic events.
  • Family difficulties.
  • Economic crisis.
  • To reconnect with themselves.
  • Leave dysfunctional relationships.
  • Seek excitement.
  • Desire for career advancement.
  • To take control of their life.
  • To search for anonymity, freeing themselves of labels.

 

shutterstock_256841692

Making a change without leaving it all

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can change his life by changing his mental attitude”

-William James-

One option with a less extreme impact, but with greater assurance of stability, is to make a significant life change without breaking with everything.

Numerous individuals have the same desire to break away from everything, but opt for a less drastic change for something less profound in themselves and their environment.

They depend on the same motivations to make a radical change, but consider that this should not imply leaving their work and family environment.

They begin to explore new sources of motivation and innovation in their environment, trying out various activities, meeting new people and not frequenting the same places as before.

In the workforce, they seek promotions, change of sector or the possibility of increased geographical mobility. If this isn’t possible, they can choose to change jobs or employers but stay within the same field.

In the face of emotional difficulties, you can opt for the help of a professional for individual help, couples therapy or family therapy.

shutterstock_257216164

The way your life changes affects your immediate environment

Everyone has the right to change his or her life if they are not satisfied. But it’s important to take into account the feelings of the people who form part of our familial, social and professional circles.

For the people who are suddenly abandoned without receiving explanations, this departure of a loved one can be a traumatic event. No one questions the departure itself, but they begin to question themselves with a very strong sense of guilt and anguish. They cannot go through a grieving process over this separation wisely because they feel this guilt.

Hence, changing in a way that involves the abandonment of your loved ones without an explanation or time to assimilate and understand, engenders a double punishment: on the part of the person doing the abandoning and of the one being abandoned.

Therefore try to do the least damage, even if we think our break up and departure are justified.