If Only There Were Stairs to Heaven to See You Each Day
If only there were stairs to Heaven so that I could see you every day. If I could only tell you again everything I love about you. If only I could show you that I need you, that you are important to me, and what you add to my life.
If I could see you again, even if it was only for a second, I would not let you go. I would hug you so hard that it would be hard to tell where one of us ends and the other begins. We would be two souls fused together, two loves, two longings, two brief eternities.
I want to think that somewhere, I do not know where or when, I will see you again. I would love to have the certainty that you live in another world nearby, with happiness and great luck. I would give anything to know that you can see and hear me.
I like to bring back the fond memories I have of you, see you in the sky, and imagine that you smile at me each and every night. I often imagine you winking at me and giving me a knowing look, like you always used to when you were still here.
I miss you
I know that you will not be back, but I need to feel your presence close to me. I prefer to think that something about you touches me every day and that my skin knows this and that is why I get chills.
I often think that every person that has left us is a star in the sky that will never go out and that every night, I will be able to see them. It is another way of telling myself that all of those memories can manage to light up the world every night.
Every day of my life, I would give anything to feel you again and to tell you everything that makes me happy and everything that upsets me. This is why I have to keep moving forward, recreating the hugs, and turning my desires into memories that help me to feel you every day.
When life separates you from a loved one, the memory of their smile is the best way to keep moving forward.
We will never stop missing them
No, absences do not stop hurting with time; we just numb our hearts. We get used to feeling a certain void, but the loss of a loved one is a wound that we cannot heal, only accept.
The important thing is being aware that we will never stop missing them. We have to cry, feel that something has been broken, that they have left, and that there is no afterlife that we can explain with words.
However, although we never stop feeling the loneliness and the pain caused by a loved one’s death, we can recover our lives and our desire to live. Days, months, or years go by, but our loved ones never stop being with us in our memories and in our heart. Because the fact that we shared in their life is the most permanent thing in this world.
I look to the sky and try to see you among so many stars, I look for your lost image among the shadows. I draw your face in the clouds that I see go by, traveling with no fixed path, and guiding myself by the moon, I ask it: Where are you? And then my chest trembles, giving me the answer with a shed tear that makes me understand once again: You are not here, you remain in my heart.
Those who go to Heaven never abandon us
It is not easy to admit that there is a part of our history that has remained unresolved, a part that was cut short by the end of a life. It is not easy because we will never stop remembering, feeling, and thinking about everything that was left undone.
So, to live in harmony with ourselves and with our loved ones, we have to allow ourselves to go through the pain in peace. Despite the undesirable pain of their absence, our life continues and it is our job to accept their departure, understanding the meaning of life and death.
We cannot allow ourselves to become paralyzed, with our emotions holding us back. We have to be aware that our story starts being written with the tears and the melody of hope once they have said goodbye.
Having to learn to live with that torturous pain is scary. It is really scary because it is so deeply embedded in us that we know that it is something that we cannot rid ourselves of. However, we have had the blessing of getting to love them, as well as the luck that they have left part of their being in this world for us.
This is why those who have gone ahead never abandon us; they remain inside us, in our heart, and in everything that we remember in relation to them. It is true that they take their essence with them, but close to our hearts remains that which we could never forget: the marvelous experience of having shared our lives with them.
