Seeking What You Already Have: A Dangerous Habit

June 4, 2019
In our desperation to find yourself, you don' realize that you're seeking what you already have. Read all about this dangerous habit here!

Many people set the goal of traveling great distances in search of what they want. Thus, they commit themselves to this search with great enthusiasm and keep going with the hope of finding that one solution that’ll fix everything that’s wrong with them. However, you shouldn’t fall into the trap of seeking what you already have.

This search will just lead you to anguish and discomfort because seeking what you already have is harmful to your health. There are many strategies that may help you stop doing this. Discover them below!

“What you seek is seeking you.”

-Rumi-

It’s Hard to Find Yourself if You Seek What You Already Have

The temptation to look for the things you don’t see inside yourself is huge. However, it’s also perverse. It makes you stop paying attention to who you are because you’re too busy looking for what you already have elsewhere.

You disintegrate and become a blur and stop identifying yourself with what you do. It isn’t helpful to seek what you already learned in the past.

Ignoring who you are is negative. Therefore, you shouldn’t stray away from your goals, blur your desires, and accept other people’s expectations of you.

A blindfolded woman.

How to Stop Seeking What You Already Have

Seeking what you already have keeps you away from what you really want. You may believe that happiness is having a lot of nice things, which makes you lose sight of what truly matters. You have to value what you have.

In addition, remember that “the grass is always greener on the other side”. But you also have to keep in mind that your grass is also green to your neighbors. That is, you have many virtues and it’s important to be aware of them. Otherwise, you’ll be very harsh and unfair to yourself. Don’t forget who you are.

Here’s some advice:

  • Don’t judge yourself. Also, don’t build your values and opinions around what others think. Yes, some of them are highly intelligent and what they have to say is valuable, but even they have limitations. Other times, other people’s perspectives are distorted and based on common myths. If you can’t reject them, then you’ll be in for a lot of pain.
  • Recognize value. To value what you already have is to realize and admit your treasures. This will keep you from losing sight of what you really want.
  • Get to know yourself. Self-knowledge helps you learn what you want and where your true happiness lies. Thus, get behind your goals and don’t waste time in futile searches.
  • Appreciate what you have. Muster the courage to treat yourself better and to convince yourself that you’re capable of great achievements. Focusing on what others are or have only keeps you away from discovering yourself. You must boost your self-esteem.
  • Who you are and what you have isn’t necessarily bad. If you’re attentive to what you criticize in others, you’ll see yourself reflected in some of them. This is because people sometimes project what happens to them. It’s a defense mechanism.
A woman seemingly looking at the horizon.

Benefits of Being Yourself

To bloom and stop hiding in the shade, it’s important to stop seeking what you already have in places other than inside yourself. You have many qualities that’ll help you face challenges.

Here’s how to stop looking for what you already have:

  • Harmony. Hear yourself. This way, you’ll be closer to your goals and will be assertive in attaining them.
  • Self-knowledge. Searching inside yourself will allow you to get to know yourself better.
  • Assertiveness. When you look inside yourself, you’ll stop idealizing and idolizing others, and will leave self-prejudices behind in order to build healthier relationships.

When you look elsewhere for what you think you lack, you move away from yourself. This affects your self-esteem and puts your mental health at risk.

In order to maintain harmony, you must use all the knowledge inside yourself.