Sapiosexuality: When You’re Attracted to Intelligence

· January 31, 2018

Sapiosexuals respond emotionally to new stimuli, and don’t pay much attention to anything that feels repetitive. They’re people with a trait that personality psychology defines as being open to experience.

That’s exactly why when it comes to seduction they feel especially attracted to conversations that open their mind. This activation, which is just mental at first, ends up extending to other levels. These include the physical, the emotional, and the erotic.

This phenomenon can happen with any gender. That is, it can happen in men and women alike. But it’s said to be more common in women, or expressed more often by them. This would be because they’re not as visual as men and need other stimuli to fall in love.

For a sapiosexual person, a high level of intelligence is the main factor in the seduction game.
a man talking and a woman listening

Erotic Intelligence

The psychiatrist Lister Rossel claims that the brain is our main sexual organ. He says it’s more important than our skin and genitals. 

Also, the sexologist Emma Ribas believes intellectual seduction adds quality to the relationship. Why? Because intelligence wakes up a desire that then shifts to the physical level.

For sapiosexuals, conversation becomes a sexual game played by two minds. They love surprises and unexpected things.


Oftentimes, they leave space for desire to arise and know how to keep it there through mystery. This last part is what people call erotic intelligence.

Now then, attraction to intelligence carries some risks. This is especially true for people who are insecure or have low self-esteem.

They then might have dependent relationships because how they don’t value themselves. In other words, they admire people they see as intelligent because they don’t see themselves that way.

Our genitals depend a lot on our brain.

Find Love Inside Ourselves

Social media is giving visibility, with new terms, to concepts that have existed throughout our lives. According to the sociologist Francesc Núñezlooking for labels to define relationships isn’t anything new. It’s actually a human need for stereotypes and biases to orient us in our social lives.

Sapiosexual has become a trendy way to describe a circumstance that’s always existed. We’re talking about sexual attraction to another person’s intelligence.

Although the term is new, the relationship between intelligence and mind as factors of interpersonal attraction goes way back. We can trace it to the writings of the philosopher Plato, in the year 380 B.C.

sapiosexuality: attraction to intelligence

Sapiosexuals let words seduce them. They like having quality conversations and dialogue that stimulate them and take them deeper. They find beauty in the other person’s internal world.

But this doesn’t mean that a sapiosexual doesn’t take into account other factors like someone’s appearance or personality.

These people might also unconsciously associate the person’s intellect with a more secure, stable relationship. In some way, they associate intelligence with good decision-making and protection in the relationship.

Sapiosexuality is yet another aspect to include with the rest of the criteria we use to choose the person we want to be with. 

Specifically, if we plan to spend time with a person, it’s best that they bring up interesting conversations. We want them to know how to maintain mystery and desire.

“Love is like a grading scale that starts with the beauty of the body. Then it moves onto ideas, and to people who show a particularly high intelligence.”

-Plato-