Sadness Goes Away when You Listen to it

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Gema Sánchez Cuevas.

Written by Raquel Lemos Rodríguez

Last update: 21 December, 2022

Feeling sadness run through your body is natural. Feeling it cloud your mind and struggle to get out. However, many of us insist on repressing what we’re feeling in a vain effort to get rid of it. Doing so not only makes the situation worse, but also causes our sadness to feed on and take root in our thoughts.

Society has taught us how we should act. An artificial “should.” We try to keep our emotions in line. Society tells us that laughter, for example, is a good. It’s a sign of joy. But it is annoying and undesirable when it’s too loud or grating to the ear: either by will or by a lack of self-control.

If this is how it is for a positive emotions, negative ones (crying, being depressed) are to be strictly avoided. This restraint is taken to such an extreme that even in the comfort of our own home with no one else around we may find it hard to express these emotions.

-Anonymous-

Why has sadness made a home in your life?

Sadness can appear for a multitude of reasons: a layoff, a breakup, a financial loss, or even an unexpected illness. These are all normal and common situations. More common than we want to believe. The problem occurs when we do not manage the emotion well, whether through ignorance or willful denial. When we don’t manage the emotion it ceases to be an emotion and instead becomes a state with roots that go deep.

This is why sadness has been able to make a home in our lives. If we are unable to really observe it and figure out what it’s try to say, it will stay around forever. Let’s give some examples:

• The sadness that appears after a breakup is a natural part of the grieving process. Feeling it and experiencing it will help us turn the page and move on.
• If it arises because of an illness, sadness can allow us to become aware of our vulnerability. It can remind us to slow down and look inwards.
• In the face of a financial loss, sadness can make us stop for a moment to consider our options. Maybe we will find a solution we couldn’t see before.

Being sad can be an opportunity to stop and reflect on what is happening to us. Above all, it can help us appreciate what we didn’t before. However, if sadness has completely consumed us, if we are one step from depression and just can’t shake it, we must step forward and take action.

–John Steinbeck-

Smart strategies for shaking off sadness

To get rid of all the sadness bringing us down and making us wake up every morning with a grimace of disappointment instead of a smile, the sadness making you feel like life makes no sense, we need to implement some strategies.

The main ones are to accept sadness and its manifestations like crying or introspection. It is useless to try to keep it in or reject it. We need to accept that we are sad and, above all, give ourselves permission to express it. It does not matter if we whine, if we weep, if we burst into tears. Those things are necessary. Emotional catharsis doesn’t work if we put up walls to keep it in.

Crying brings us peace. It is a kind of self-care. When you feel overcome by a sadness that just won’t leave, look for more ways to take care of yourself. Practice a sport, eat healthy, go out with friends. In short, all is not lost. Little by little, we can make small changes to get ourselves going again and motivate us once more.

Finally, it is worthwhile to try to find internal motivation, a desire to perform regardless of the possible outcome. Meaning, when we have to do something we don’t want to, we will still get through it. We can also try mindfulness, a quite pleasant activity that will help us get better and gain perspective.

As a final note, the key to all this is to see a professional when we just can’t withstand the pain or when we feel so crushed by it and can’t seem to find a way out. Although you may feel like your situation will never change, every storm does eventually give way to the sun’s beautiful rays.

-Anonymous-