Real Love is More Than Skin Deep

Real Love is More Than Skin Deep
Valeria Sabater

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Written by Valeria Sabater

Last update: 09 December, 2021

Over time, you realize that real love isn’t made with your body, but your soul. It’s a genuine passion that travels beyond your body and joins your two minds together. It unites your emotions, certainties, and feelings. You dance together as one.

It’s said that the skin is the most important sexual organ in a human being. Indeed, we need to be touched to survive. In fact, sometimes, a touch is enough to activate the thousands of sensory receptors that are capable of threading together an emotion, a feeling. However, with genuine love, the symphony of sensations embedded in your skin isn’t always enough. You want more.

“The moon lives in the lining of your skin.”

-Pablo Neruda-

The best love stories don’t usually appear in books. They’re written on your skin with invisible ink that only you can see. They’ve been tattooed with the tips of those wise fingers that traced, in the shadows, the shape of your body. The one who awakened your soul and molded it to theirs, giving you real meaning to your life.

Think about it.

giphy

Look further than skin deep

It isn’t easy to find someone with whom you can become one. That person with whom you share your emotions, values, sensations, and complicities. However, when you do find them, everything suddenly fits and harmonizes and there are no empty spaces left to fill. Your soul is inspired and your heart wakes from its long winter slumber, just when you thought you were never going to be loved.

This is because there comes a time when you get tired of cowardly loves. Of those that risk nothing and that die like a storm at the end of summer. Those that, despite the nights of passion, promises and caresses, leave you with nothing more than an empty pillow beside you. Those that leave you with only your tears and the ashes of your broken dreams.

However, you learn, eventually. You pick up your broken pieces and put them back together again with self-love. You repeat to yourself the mantra that “They’ll never hurt me again”. Furthermore, you learn that the best lover is the one who has the courage to look beyond your skin and even to emotionally undress before you.

A couple hug under clothes, showing real love.

The true chemistry of love

The true chemistry of love exists, right in the center of your head. In fact, it’s almost like a third eye. It’s the pituitary gland where a magical and tremendously powerful hormone is secreted. This is oxytocin.

You can have a sexual encounter at any time, where your brain is a torrent of sensations and neurotransmitters orchestrating your purest, most accommodating instincts. However, it’s only when sex is fully and authentically enjoyed that oxytocin appears.

This hormone is what ignites in you the need to care and protect. It feeds you with affection, emotion, and a wiser passion aimed at creating a permanent bond where all your fears and uncertainties are extinguished. As a matter of fact, research supports the fact that orgasms are far more intense when this magic formula appears.

couple

A unique language

Interestingly, there are some couples who, over time, stop being a couple yet remain lovers. They no longer have anything in common in their day-to-day lives, and they have no illusions about each other. However, under the covers, they experience something magical and continue to speak the same fantastic language.

Real love lasts in the hearts and souls of two people. It goes beyond the skin and speaks a language that only the wisest lovers understand.

Nevertheless, these kinds of situations are just a prelude to a goodbye. In fact, they only happen because certain traces of the attachment generated by oxytocin still remain. However, it’ll gradually peter out like the embers of a bonfire that previously offered so much warmth.

Sexuality undoubtedly has its own unique language that must be understood. Furthermore, not everyone looks for the same things. There are those who prefer those skin-to-skin encounters, where there are no lasting connections or commitments. These are undoubtedly aspects that must always be made clear from the beginning of any prospective relationship so that there’s no room for disappointment.

couple dancing on the moon

Erotic capitalism

There are many experts who claim that we live in a system of erotic capitalism. Sex toys are marketed and new sexual experiences are constantly recommended. Not forgetting that there are more and more dating apps where it seems easier than ever to find a partner.

However, none of this seems to offer genuine happiness. In fact, these experiences are little more than tiny discharges of dopamine, single-use puffs of happiness, but soon, the lonely heart drifts back into the ocean of waiting – and hope. We’re back in the waiting room, longing for those hands that will finally touch our skin and caress our souls…


This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.