How To Protect Ourselves From Toxic People

July 5, 2016

There are many types of toxic people: jealous, envious, possessive, pessimistic, authoritarian, manipulating, etc., and we have to live with these each and every day at work, in our friend group, or in our family.

Our attitude and our ability to deal with them is what determines whether we become influenced negatively by them. Letting them invade our thoughts and prevent us from breathing or letting them create discomfort in us is something we can avoid if we want to. Learn to protect yourself from toxic people.

“Many times we allow gossipy, jealous, authoritative, psychotic, arrogant, and mediocre people, overall toxic people, to enter into our most intimate circle of friends. We let in the wrong people, the people who constantly evaluate what we say and do, or what we do not say or do.”

-Bernardo Stamateas-

Shadow Chasing Person

Feelings aroused by toxic people

I feel so bad when I am with her. She makes me feel uncomfortable; I am not myself. I always see a suspicious look on her face. If I comment on even the most trivial triumph in my life, even if it is from the past and I make no great show of it, I notice her jealousy, discomfort, irritation.

I feel like she is never happy about anything that happens to me. I think she always lives in a sort of competition, like little children when they say… “I’m better.” And I… am starting to feel infected by this.

The truth is that I feel deeply relieved when she is not there. I am myself, I feel happy, I do not have to hide who I am or the good things that have happened to me today. So, how do I do it?

She is not positive for me, but certain common links tie us and it is not easy to distance myself from her presence. In one way or another, she is always present in my life. I think that I am even obsessing over this situation.

This is the story of a person who has a relationship with someone that is toxic for her. Fear, insecurity, discomfort, powerlessness, or sadness are emotions brought on by toxic people.

In general, people who let themselves be influenced by toxic people or who live with some of them can be invaded by a sort of boundless stress, impulse, and discomfort when they are with them… It can even end up creating a sort of dependence

“Let go of people who only come to share their complaints, problems, disastrous stories, fear, and judgment of others. If someone is looking for a bin to throw away their garbage, make sure it is not your mind”

-Dalai Lama-

How to prevent toxic people from influencing us

Woman and Butterflies Running Away

  • Stop giving them so much importance. Toxic people are there, okay, but are you going to allow them to make your free time bitter? When you realize that they do not affect you inside, that you are in control of the situation, you will feel happy with yourself.
  • Distance yourself. What is the point of the fights and “burning yourself out” talking about that person with others? Forget them, nothing more. Lead your life, distance yourself, and wish them the best.
  • Get used to living with them. You will not always be able to distance yourself from these people. They are in your family, in your friend group, at work. They are there, so what? Mind your own business, do not get in heated arguments or try to earn their good graces. Let them say what they want, do what they want… all the while, get closer to good people, for you must not forget that they are also around you.
  • Be careful with them. Do not tell them your secrets, your business. Save those for people you trust and enjoy spending time with.
  • Do not speak about them when they are not there. The more you talk about them, the more time you are allowing them into your head, your space, and your time. Do you think they are worth it?
  • Forgive them. Do you know the benefits that we can get from forgiving others? Forgive them. It is very possible for some of your headaches or stomachaches to go away. Many of our worries are externalized. Don’t you think it is time to look out for yourself and your health? Don’t you think you are punishing yourself foolishly?
  • Practice meditation and other forms of self-liberation. Meditate, walk, listen to music, these are powerful weapons that free our minds of negative thoughts.
  • Analyze what negative people are doing to you and try to change it. Anger, suspicion, hatred, fear? Be your own psychologist, recognize your feelings, and do not allow them anymore. In the end, the one who is suffering and having a bad time is you, don’t you realize that?

When you really feel like toxic people are not affecting you anymore, you will really manage to be happy with yourself and that is what really matters…The ability to be with oneself despite the circumstances…