With No Hatred Within, There Are No Enemies Outside

Our unique personalities and ways of looking at life condition the way in which we interact with others. In certain situations, we project our traits onto the people around us, attributing behaviors or thoughts which are actually ours. With this line of thought, having enemies may be more related with how we confront situations in our mind than with the circumstances which objectively happen to us.
Sometimes the worst attack we can suffer doesn’t come from the outside world, but from within, from ourselves. In certain situations, we can even feel grateful for external attacks. Because internal conditions include rage, impotence and social shame. Precisely these, which comes from our very selves, make us feel weak and insecure, propitiating a breeding ground so that we may see others as enemies.
For our emotional stability, it’s essential to know how to redirect the anger that these situations produce for us. Knowing which situations and circumstances pose a major grievance in our lives is crucial in order to identify who or what we’re confronting.

There’s no doubt that the worst attack isn’t the one that comes from the external world. It’s the one which is produced from within, causing a negative self-assessment. This ends up undermining us as people. This negative self-assessment turns us into our own worst enemy, since our emotional balance depends in great measure on our self-esteem.
“There’s victory in beating your enemy. That victory is even greater when a man beats himself.”
-José De San Martín-
Our unique personalities and ways of looking at life condition the way in which we interact with others. In certain situations, we project our traits onto the people around us, attributing behaviors or thoughts which are actually ours. With this line of thought, having enemies may be more related with how we confront situations in our mind than with the circumstances which objectively happen to us.
Sometimes the worst attack we can suffer doesn’t come from the outside world, but from within, from ourselves. In certain situations, we can even feel grateful for external attacks. Because internal conditions include rage, impotence and social shame. Precisely these, which comes from our very selves, make us feel weak and insecure, propitiating a breeding ground so that we may see others as enemies.
For our emotional stability, it’s essential to know how to redirect the anger that these situations produce for us. Knowing which situations and circumstances pose a major grievance in our lives is crucial in order to identify who or what we’re confronting.

There’s no doubt that the worst attack isn’t the one that comes from the external world. It’s the one which is produced from within, causing a negative self-assessment. This ends up undermining us as people. This negative self-assessment turns us into our own worst enemy, since our emotional balance depends in great measure on our self-esteem.
“There’s victory in beating your enemy. That victory is even greater when a man beats himself.”
-José De San Martín-
When you are your own enemy
Robert J. Sternberg, professor at Yale University and the ex-president of the American Association of Psychiatry, distinguishes at least two types of enemies: external and internal ones.
Internal enemies, as their name suggest, refers to those that can be found within us, such as our thoughts. Negative thoughts trap us in a loop and lead us towards rage, fury, and hatred. They make us view others as enemies who “produce” various painful situations for us.
That inner enemy comes from the irrationality that all of those negative thoughts provoke within us. Emotional well-being depends mainly on not letting yourself get carried away by automatic thoughts. Since those tend to have very negative characteristics:
- They are irrational. That is to say, they aren’t based on objective facts, on reality.
- They’re automatic. They work like a reflex that is produced without us voluntarily propitiating them.
- They’re exaggerated, dramatic and always negative. These thoughts generate a great deal of emotional unease, and we can’t get anything good out of them.

“Not even your worst enemies can hurt you as much as your thoughts.”
How can I control my enemies?
Gandhi practiced a passive method of “fighting” against his enemies: constructive nonresistance. This is an active way of interacting with the enemy through positive means, a proactive way of dealing with adversity. In personal relationships, there is a wide range of situations that we need to confront. In order to deal with situations involving conflict, it’s important to remember the following:
- Don’t fight just to fight.
- Don’t fight just to inflate your ego.
- Fighting shouldn’t be aimed at enlarging our pride.
- Don’t fight just to beat your adversary or to punish them.
- Only fight to achieve a greater purpose.
- Fight in order to overcome your problems.
No matter how hard we try, situations full of conflict will not disappear from our lives. Thus, it’s important to learn to control the effect these have on us.
“They say that our enemy is our best teacher. When you’re with a teacher, you can learn the importance of patience, control and tolerance. But you don’t get a real opportunity to put it into practice. True practice emerges when you find an enemy.“
-Dalai Lama-

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.







