The Mystery of Mental Attraction: When Two Souls Caress

Sometimes, two souls meet, and almost without even knowing how we enter the same gravitational field where almost everything fits. We’re referring to that mental seduction that goes beyond the physical world. It entraps and dazzles you, there where two souls meet. They caress each other and set sail down the same path together.

This kind of attraction that goes beyond the skin is more common than we think. However, this doesn’t change the fact that physical appearance continues to be important. In fact, just as the social psychologist Solomon Asch proved in his work, Implicit Theories of the Personality, people still think that everything that is beautiful is good and therefore beneficial.

“When someone makes you feel things without placing a single finger on you, now that is admirable.”

-Mario Benedetti-

When it comes to attraction, we have to keep in mind that a big part of those mechanisms are controlled by unconscious processes. Physical appearance is our cover letter and biggest claim, we know that. Nevertheless, this claim isn’t always the perfect lure or the most infallible. Biology, chemistry and our psycho-emotional needs give way to this gravitational field that makes us attractive to certain people. Sometimes, almost without knowing how, we click. Magic surges, and we do everything we can to keep them close to us.

We are not at all talking about ‘soul mates, but rather about personalities that make a connection. Personalities that are in perfect harmony and which are capable of creating a strong and enriching bond.

couple and lanterns above giant holding hands

Mental attraction doesn’t seek soul mates, but rather traveling companions

According to a study conducted by Doctor Raymond Knee, director of the social psychology laboratory of the University of Rochester, over 50 percent of people believe that soul mates exist. In other words, that people are destined to find one another and that this type of attraction transcends what can be seen by the naked eye.

Within the concept of soul mates, the aspect of mental attraction is without a doubt a fundamental pillar. Nevertheless, just as this same author explains in articles such as The Science of Soulmates, this kind of attraction will go beyond the simple mental processes associated with values, needs, and affection in order to reach a more spiritual field.

“To love is not just to care for someone, it is above all, to understand them.”

-Françoise Sagan-

United by destiny or united to grow

Doctor Raymond Knee is still to this day immersed in the study of the social conception of ‘soul mates’. From his department we can take a test with which we can evaluate our view on the topic. After performing this test we will know if we belong to one of these two groups:

People who believe in the existence of soulmates. From this approach, mental attraction is understood as a process through which our union with the other person is so intimate and exceptional that we don’t need to say what we want or what we’re missing so that the other person will know. We are one being.
People who believe in romantic relationships as part of their personal and emotional growth. In this case, destiny has little to no importance. No one is predestined to anyone else. We are the ones who create our relationships by investing time, will and effort when we find that traveling companion.

In the second case, mental attraction means sharing interests, passions, values and the ease with which we negotiate. It includes how we understand each other in order to reach agreements without waiting for the other person to ‘guess’ what’s wrong with us. Understanding it in another way could lead us to profound frustration.

The keys to mental attraction

Physical attraction is something very strong, intense and uncontrolled. We know and love this fact. However, the magic that characterizes the most authentic and stable relationships is balance. Finding an ideal balance between both dimensions. A place where mental seduction is evermore the most brazen, vivid and exciting ingredient.

“Love makes the paradox of two people becoming one possible… without ceasing to be two beings.”

-Erich Fromm-

Likewise, if we stop to delve a bit into the keys of an authentic mental attraction, we would realize something. Effectively, there is very little that is supernatural about it. Instead, there are a lot of emotions, drive, chemistry and that type of intuition buried in our subconscious. This mixture tells us that this specific person is who most suits us in this particular moment.

Let’s look at some of these aspects.

The first aspect is without a doubt reciprocity. Something as basic as being answered in a positive manner, as feeling acknowledged and valued. As basic as seeing ourselves as important figures in the eyes of the other person. This forms a very significant attraction.

Mental attraction also converges in similar interests. In seeing the world from the same point of view and under the same principles. There can be some differences in certain aspects, of course. But, these small dissonances are respected and even valued.

Likewise, mental attraction is ignited through challenges. There are people that make us feel alive, who challenge us. They have that subtle combination where what’s familiar mixes with the unknown. Little by little, something is created which excites us. It fills our minds in order to irretrievably light up our heart and let our souls caress each other.