Mothers and Daughters: The Bond that Heals and Hurts
Each daughter has a part of her mother within her. It is an eternal link we can never detach.
To be healthy and be happy, each of us has to know how our mother influenced our lives and how she continues to do so. She is the one who, even before we were born, gave us our first experience of love and support. And it is through her that we understand what being a woman is and how we can care for or neglect our body.
“Our cells were divided and developed the rhythm of her heartbeat; our skin, hair, heart, lungs and bones were fed by blood; blood that was full of neurochemicals formed in response to her thoughts, beliefs and emotions. If she felt fear, anxiety, nervousness, or very unhappy because of her pregnancy, our body knew that; if she felt safe, happy and satisfied, we noticed that too.”
The legacy we inherit from our mothers
“The best inheritance from a mother to a daughter is having healed as a woman”
Any woman, whether or not she is a mother, bears the consequences of the relationship she had with her mother. If she has conveyed positive messages about the female body and the way you have to care for it, her teachings will always be part of a guide for physical and emotional health.
However, a mother’s influence can also be problematic when the role played is toxic due to a careless, jealous, or controlling attitude.
Maternal care, an essential nutrient for life
When a TV camera is focused on an audience member at a sporting event or any other event… What do people usually shout? “Hi Mom!!”
Almost all of us have the need to be seen by our mothers, we seek their approval. Originally, this dependence was due to biological reasons because we needed it to survive for many years. However, the need for affection and approval is forged from minute one, since we look to see if we are doing something well or if we are worthy of her caress.
As Northrup says, the mother-daughter bond is strategically designed to be one of the most positive, comprehensive and intimate relationships that we have in life. However, this does not always happen…
Over the years, the need for approval can become pathological, giving our mother an unhealthy power over our well-being for all or most of our lives. Recognition from our mother mother becomes a thirst we need to quench, despite having to suffer for it. This means a loss of independence and freedom that diminishes and transforms us.
How can we begin to grow as a woman and as a daughter?
Personal growth involves healing emotional wounds or any matter that is left unfinished in the first half of our life. This transition is not an easy task because we first need to identify which parts of the mother-child relationship require resolution and healing.
It depends on our present and future sense of worth. There may always a part of us that thinks we should give ourselves in excess to our family or our partner to be worthy of love. Whether your bond with your mother was positive or had challenges, as most do, it’s important to reflect deeply on it and become aware of the ways it influences you in your present life.
Consulted Source: Mothers and daughters Christiane Northrup