Love Doesn't Need to Be Perfect, But It Must Be True

Love Doesn't Need to Be Perfect, But It Must Be True
Raquel Aldana

Written and verified by the psychologist Raquel Aldana.

Last update: 14 December, 2021

Love can’t really be defined. That’s because defining is limiting and love has no limits. Furthermore, perfection doesn’t exist, not even in love. However, it’s important to aspire to achieve the best, most satisfying love, true love, the one that makes you feel good.

When it comes to love you must be honest with yourself and with your feelings. As a matter of fact, to enjoy genuinely true love, you need to have previously done some inner work on yourself. This can be complicated. In fact, to do it, you’ll have to let go of all of your previous misconceptions.

You must remember that you aren’t one-half of an orange. You don’t need anyone to complete you. Nor should you aspire to be, effectively, someone else’s other half of their orange. However, remembering this can often be complicated because it tends to clash with the hyper-romantic ideas that you see in Hollywood movies and Disney stories.

It’s not the attachment, the intense affection or the inclination towards another person that’s unhealthy. It’s the hyper-attachment. In other words, the need and dependence on another to fulfill your needs.

Therefore, you must understand that you can’t burden anyone else with the responsibility of making you whole, compensating for your deficiencies, or resolving your conflicts. Only then will you understand what you can really expect from true love.

True love, the pillar of your well-being

Woman with a heart in her hand symbolizing love

Unhealthy love is one in which you lose your way. In fact, it’s one in which you lose your own identity. That’s because you become so immersed in the feeling that completely absorbs you. However, this isn’t perfect love. Nevertheless, you’ve been sold the idea that this beautiful feeling has to be so intense, it means you must completely change your whole world.

True love doesn’t mean never having problems or arguments. It’s the kind that’s capable of solving differences or living with any unsolvable aspects. In fact, healthy affection and love teach you to listen to the glances of complicity and simply embrace the reality of being happy.

True love needs a place to be, a place to sleep and shelter. It needs you in order to exist. It also needs you to love yourself because, if you don’t, you won’t be able to love anyone else. In turn, it needs your partner to be able to act accordingly. You’re both essential.

“In the end, you realize that small is always more important. The conversations at three in the morning, the spontaneous smiles, the disastrous photos that make you laugh out loud, the ten-word poems that bring a tear to your eyes. The books that nobody else knows and become your favorites, a flower that you put in your hair, a coffee that you drink alone… That is what is really worth it; the tiny things that cause gigantic emotions.”

-Between letters and caffeine-

True love is built daily

Girl with a heart in her arms

True love is built every day with no need for rules and schedules. Your true love isn’t one who knows everything about you. In fact, they don’t need to know and they respect your privacy. They also understand both your past and your present,

Your true love doesn’t betray, hurt, or abandon you. They don’t say goodbye because they don’t leave. They give you security and not fear. Furthermore, they give you confidence and don’t doubt you.

True sincerity is based on respect. Every day you rediscover the virtues and flaws of your partner. In fact, you appreciate the smallest of details about them and you immerse yourself in the permanence of love. It gives you the confidence of knowing that there’s a place where, even though the world might fall apart, you can be safe and secure.

True love doesn’t mean forming a perfect team, but a strong and determined one.

Perfect love is impossible, but true love does exist. True love offers and doesn’t demand. It brings a smile to your soul, it’s the kind of love that doesn’t give up on you.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.