With Little Lies Great People Are Lost

With Little Lies Great People Are Lost
Raquel Aldana

Written and verified by the psychologist Raquel Aldana.

Last update: 14 December, 2021

Nobody likes lies, no matter how small. It does not make us feel good that it is decided for us what we should or should not know.

There is nothing more heartbreaking than lies and hypocrisy, because both make us feel small and vulnerable. They make us distrust the world and build a shell of ice around our hearts. Little lies make us call into question a thousand truths and hundreds of feelings that we thought were sincere.

love thorns

I like being told the truth, I’ll determine whether it hurts or not

When such an important feeling as trust is broken, something dies within us. It is truly sad that good relationships and friendships are destroyed because of something that could have been avoided.

In fact, when we realize or uncover a ploy, we usually think that however hard the reality may be, we could have the endured that much better than the betrayal of our trust. And this is usually very true.

A lie always causes more pain than the truth if it is discovered. And we must not forget the fact that it is very likely that the truth will come to light because, as we know, the truth will always prevail.

We should add here that we cannot demand honesty and then get offended by hearing the truth if they say it with respect. This is important because many times honest people are branded as being “bad” for the truth that they speak.


Sincerity is the basis of all trust

We all have the explicit and implicit belief that the quality of a person depends on their ability to be honest and show it clearly to the world and to the people around us.

In the same way, we assume that the basis of all sincere affection is precisely total and absolute acceptance, without “buts“, without conditions and without excuses. That is, we understand that in principle we do not have to lie or hide anything from those we love and who love us.

But perhaps the more affection there is, the more expectations there are. The simple fact of believing that we will disappoint the hopes that others place on us sometimes causes us to make the mistake of believing that small lies can be justified.

However, as we have said, that is not so. As difficult as it is for us to understand, we should stop to think about how we are disappointing others more if we’re not being sincere and doing it despite compromising the ideal that others have of us.

sad boy behind a window

We all make mistakes and we may think that what is being hidden is one more mistake. It is our responsibility to consider all the possibilities and be tolerant of others just as we want them to be with us.

On this basis it will be up to us whether we are able to forgive or not and how we can tackle the situation. Also, do not forget the fact that just because forgiveness exists doesn’t mean it should be a justification for others to harm us.

After all, it’s  the relationships of sincere affection that are able to withstand any truth and reality that accompanies them. However, lies destroy and devastate trust, which costs hundreds of experiences to be built, and one second to be broken.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.