Let Go of "Letting Go"

Let Go of "Letting Go"
Raquel Aldana

Written and verified by the psychologist Raquel Aldana.

Last update: 14 December, 2021

Erase from your mind the idea of forcing everything that torments you to go well, because when you do not manage it, it stresses you out even more. Do not feel guilty and do not think that you are not good at managing your emotions; realize that you are fighting against yourself.

If you manage to win the battle, you will be the one who wins, but also the one who loses, and that is something that you cannot allow for yourself. That is to say, if you manage to violently trap the thing that you want to get out of your life, something inside of you will be hurt.

Allow your emotions to communicate their message and do not try to bottle them. If you accept yourself, win or lose, you will come out the winner.

“Let go of ‘letting go.’ (And let go of not being able to ‘let go.’)

Simply let the moment go the way the moment goes. Or not.

And what is left to ‘let go’ of?”

-Jeff Foster-

Do not torture yourself, every feeling has its moment

Do not torture yourself thinking that you have to let go at all costs; for example, we often cannot stop appreciating some parts of those people that we would say are toxic.

Sometimes we have reasons for wanting something that has hurt us to stay; other times, we just cannot find good reasons to let things go.

Whatever the situation may be, remember that you can’t rush your emotions. Do not fear yourself; not letting go will never be a sign of weakness, but rather a way of learning to take the time you need so as not to make a scene when leaving.

Only those who are lost can be found

It is natural for us to want the thing that hurts us to get out of our life, but we are wrong if we do not listen to the things that each experience brings to our lives.

Girl with Dandelion

Sometimes we are not capable of “letting go” of the thing that is hurting us. This upsets us even more and as a consequence, we destroy all emotional work that we are trying to accomplish, and we end up thinking that we will never be able to live a fulfilling life.

Suddenly letting go means uprooting, and the pulling always hurts. We have to take our time so that we can stand to breathe and find an air bubble that is not contaminated.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.”

Sonja, in Love and Death, by Woody Allen.

Hugging our angels and our demons

You learn to let go by letting everything you thought you knew die, with the aim to reconcile yourself with your image in the mirror. By noticing that every emotion and every feeling is an adorable little creature that you have to treat with care and respect.

Do not burden or ignore yourself; keep your own rhythm and value the pros and cons of each situation without getting distracted. Offer your feelings a place inside you where they can breathe and feel safe.

Put it into words, count to three, and feel. Your emotions are not a punishment, nor are they something that you have to renounce. If you try to bottle them, your very presence will distress you. You will feel anxious and overwhelmed.

Know that you deserve everything that you have around you. Unleash your emotions and do not try to calm them; generally when you make it a point to listen, they will manage to calm down on their own and communicate with you.

Feelings are not something that we can play hide and seek with. Listen to the echo of your heart in your mind, beating with life, and do not impose limits upon your emotions. Accept and flow. The moment that you are supposed to live is the one that is happening right now.

Images courtesy of Benjamin Lacombe and Nicoleta Ceccoli

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.