You Don't Deserve to Be Loved Halfway
“If you love me, love all of me,
Not by areas of light or shadow.
If you love me, love me black.
And white. And gray, and green, and blonde,
Love me by day.
Love me by night.
And in the early morning by the open window!
If you love me, don’t hold me back.
Love all of me…or don’t love me at all!”
Dulce María Loynaz
We are not incomplete beings. We don’t need a “better half” in order to be happy. We are oranges, lemons, peaches, and endless other fruits rolling around the world on our own.
Sometimes we have the good fortune of finding another fruit that rolls to the same rhythm. So we start to take walks together, walks that can last a lifetime or end in an instant.
A peach can pair perfectly with an orange if both are prepared to make a life together and able to respect both their similarities and their differences.
Love and respect go hand in hand
“To wall off your own suffering is to risk being devoured from the inside.”
Disney subjects us to a deceitful idea of love and “better halves” to the point where we see this type of halfhearted love as normal. To become content with this type of love is to condemn ourselves to solitude.
When halfhearted thoughts of “now I love him, now I don’t,” or “maybe tomorrow I’ll be interested,” insert themselves into our relationships, the outlook is bad. If you love, love fully and give all that is healthy to give of yourself.
This is not only a question of principle, but also of respect and consideration for ourselves. It’s not fair or healthy to give love without receiving at least a little something that makes us feel good in return.
We can all agree that love should be selfless, but this doesn’t mean that it should be foolish. If you’re suffering because you’re not getting anything in return, it’s time to think about leaving the situation.
Everybody deserves to be loved fully
“You deserve a love that wants you even when you’re disheveled, with all the things that get you up in a hurry, with all the demons that keep you up at night.
You deserve a love that makes you feel safe, that can eat the world out of the palm of your hand, that thinks your hugs go perfectly with your skin.
You deserve a love that wants to dance with you, that goes to paradise every time they look into your eyes, and that never gets bored of reading your expressions.
You deserve a love that listens when you sing, that supports you in your ridiculousness, that respects your freedom, that accompanies you on your journey, that is not afraid of falling.
You deserve a love that takes away the lies, that brings you hope, coffee, and poetry.”
It’s not that they have to adore every single part of you, but that whoever truly loves you should not try to change or manipulate you. Every little gesture makes up who we are as well as the world around us. This is something exceptional that deserves consideration.
We must allow our companions to love us how they want, and not how we want them to, but always while flying with the wings of freedom. Nobody has the right to infringe upon our freedom or to play games with us.
In this sense, we cannot get carried away by our needs or by our concept of an ideal love. Rather, we have to establish a basis of respect, acceptance, and reciprocity.
We don’t deserve to be loved halfway. We deserve to be shown that we are loved, and for this reason, selfishness must disappear. Because, put simply, true love doesn’t take advantage of anyone.
“Being truly loved gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”