Let Go Of What Hurts, Even If It Hurts To Let Go

Let Go Of What Hurts, Even If It Hurts To Let Go
Valeria Sabater

Written and verified by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 15 November, 2021

Time has made me understand that letting go is not giving up, it’s not an act of weakness but rather of strength and growth. Because though it hurts me to let you go I understand that there are things that cannot be.

Throughout our life’s path we have left many things behind, we have broken away from scenarios, situations, customs and even people. Everything you are today is the sum of what you’ve chosen to keep from the path, in order to be your most authentic self in the present, although this has involved much suffering.

Letting go, in fact, it is part of the wheel of life, where every step forward helps us remove ourselves from what cannot be, what hurts, and what doesn’t add to our happiness.

Life often involves cutting ties and leaving our hands empty of previous joys and hopes. It is certainly painful. However, let’s assume that the sooner we do it the more prepared we will be to overcome these moments, these crossroads where looking back is remaining “stuck” to what cannot be.

Nostalgia occasionally enriches and inspires, but living in the past and clinging to what you’ve left behind does not allow you to grow. 

Free yourself, advance and be grateful for what you have experienced as one who preserves a precious treasure: it enriches you inside and helps you follow the most appropriate path, one of balance and authenticity.

Letting go of certain things so that better things can reach us

girl with a red coat simbolizing letting a dove go

Sometimes what we let go was something that we trusted at the time and in many cases, made us happy. But at some point the joy, love and hope transforms to pain and we are faced with the difficulty of having to let go of that person or that situation.

Even what was once good can suddenly stop doing you good, bring suffering, and even the person who says they love you can let you go a little more each day; like the person who plucks the petals of a flower until they leave it naked with just its thorns.

We’ve all been told before that life is letting go, allowing yourself to flow without avoiding resistance. But how is this actually achieved? As p eople we need security in our day to day lives and also need the people who love us today to love us the same way they do tomorrow.

The act of letting go implies a gesture of courage and self-knowledge. We need to know our limits and what we really want for ourselves.

If that partner who we walked with hand in hand ends up leading us down the path of unhappiness, we need to let go to find our own way. And we must do so even if there is love, because despite the affection and passion, not all relationships are wise, nor does all love understand the language of respect.

Good self-esteem and a strong attitude to defend our own dignity, will help lead us away from these situations. For maturing is also letting go of that person who doesn’t want to stay.


letting go dandelions

Learning to let go will bring happiness

Whoever clings to the past enslaves their thoughts, their mind, their heart and soul. Yesterday cannot be erased, or edited, let alone forgotten. We cannot change people, or force them to love as we would like them to… There are aspects of our lives that to overcome them, you must first accept them.

Loving is also learning to let go, because it’s nearly always love that causes us more suffering. Only when we accept what cannot be will we allow ourselves to be free to find new happiness.

No one comes into this world knowing everything nor do they bring along the manual of the perfect decisions, those that are exempt from error. Living is tasting, touching, initiative, taking risks and making mistakes, hence, we should consider the following…

Do not be angry, do not fill your heart with your mind anger or rancor. Letting go is an art that must be done peacefully and without anger. Only then we will allow ourselves to be free, discovering that every day the pain is much less.

To let go, the first thing we must do is learn to accept: accept that every experience was worth it and part of the fabric of our life. One w ho denies and forgets does not take responsibility, does not heal and does not learn. You need to accept what happened and understand that letting go is also growing.

Someday everything will make sense. The pain of right now, the chaos and the uncertainty for having let go which defined you before will be that door that will bring much better things tomorrow, because remember…everything happens for a reason.

woman walking happily because she let go of what hurt her


Images courtesy Jenn-ladywhite, Pascal Campion

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.