Learning to Enjoy Your Own Company Is Key to Your Well-Being

Many adults are incapable of spending time in their own company. This can lead to emotional dependence. In this article, discover how important it is to learn to enjoy your own company.
Learning to Enjoy Your Own Company Is Key to Your Well-Being
Elena Sanz

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Last update: 20 October, 2022

Many adults are incapable of spending time in their own company. Being on their own makes them feel so uncomfortable that they constantly seek out other people’s company. However, you need to learn that you’re the person you’ll be with for the rest of your life. For this reason, it’s important for you to know that learning to enjoy your own company is the key to your well-being.

Being alone may make you feel uncomfortable because you’re not used to it. You live immersed in a world full of noise, focused on other people and disconnected from your inner self. Thus, when other people leave, the silence is often as disturbing as that inner voice you haven’t heard for years.

The inability to enjoy your own company doesn’t only keep you from getting to know the wonderful human being that you are. It can also lead you to establish harmful dependent relationships. Relationships that aren’t based so much on love but rather on the fear that those people will leave you.

When you enjoy your own company, you’re free. Your self-fulfillment comes from the only person who’ll never leave you. When you realize that, your relationships become a choice, not a necessity.

Then, you can truly choose who you want to spend your time with, and you won’t hesitate to end ties with those who don’t bring anything positive to your life.

A woman on a beach.

Learning to enjoy your own company

It’s important to emphasize that seeking social contact and establishing relationships is totally healthy and natural. We’re social beings. Thus, we need to interact with others to stay both physically and emotionally healthy.

You should running away from yourself. Why don’t you decide to really get to know yourself? You’ll be surprised by what you discover!

Give yourself a chance

As we mentioned above, if you find it uncomfortable to spend time in your own company, it’s probably because you’re not used to it. You haven’t given yourself the chance to get to know yourself, as you’ve always tried to be surrounded by other people.

Due to this, it’s important for you to make a conscious effort to spend time with yourself. Try to overcome the initial discomfort and gradually get used to your own company.

A good start is to learn not to force yourself to meet up with other people just to avoid feeling lonely. When you find yourself on your own, don’t run away from it. Accept it and begin to experience what it feels like to be in your own company.

Focus on yourself

Emotional dependence often makes you become overly aware of other people in your life. You go out of your way to meet their needs and expectations and try to fulfill them immediately. You invest all your energy and time into their well-being and, as a result, you forget about yourself.

Thus, a good start is to recover all the time and mental energy you dedicated to other people and focus it on yourself. Start asking yourself how you’re feeling on a regular basis, what you need, what you want, and what you’d like to do. Make yourself your first priority and look after your own needs first.

At first, you may feel that this is selfish or unnatural. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Your greatest responsibility is to yourself. You can’t adequately love, look after, and tend to someone else if you don’t love, look after, and tend to yourself first.

Build a relationship with yourself

Finally, remember the importance of building a relationship with yourself. When you love someone, you listen to them, give them words of love and encouragement, and spend time with them. Well, you need to do the same with yourself.

Enjoy “me time” whenever you can. You can take a relaxing bath, watch your favorite movie, or cook a new recipe. Your goal should be to make time for yourself and enjoy yourself.

Spending time in your own company will be a pleasure

At first, you may discover things about yourself that you don’t particularly like. You may find that you still have wounds from the past, fears, and even anger. This might make you feel uncomfortable.

However, you need to keep in mind that you’ve probably been neglecting these feelings by continually seeking other people’s company. Now, however, in the silence, they’re finally coming to light.

Instead of going back to where you started, have the courage to continue spending time in your own company. Examine those dark areas, and work on them if necessary. When you begin to live and love yourself unconditionally, and when you become your own best friend and greatest ally, your life will be simpler and you’ll no longer feel alone.


All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Blasco, C. (2005). Dependencia emocional. In I Congreso Virtual de Psiquiatría 1 de Febrero-15 de Marzo 2000 [citado:*]; Conferencia 6-CI-A:[52 pantallas]. Disponible en: http://www. psiquiatria. com/congreso/mesas/mesa6/conferencias/6_ci_a. htm.
  • Savater, F. (1988). El amor propio y la fundación de los valores. Revista del Centro de Estudios Constitucionales, (1), 377-420.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.