Learn to Come First, You're Your Priority
You must learn to come first and think more about yourself. This is because doing so will give you peace of mind and happiness. As much as people have led you to believe otherwise, it isn’t selfish to put yourself first. In fact, those who opt for diluting themselves in the needs of others and forgetting about theirs soon lose their worth and affect their self-esteem.
In the work Alcibiades I, attributed to Plato, there’s an interesting dialogue between Socrates and his students where he urges the audience to do something very important: “Take care of yourselves”.
Well, that conception of “care” goes far beyond mere attention to your physical health and well-being. The Greek philosopher spoke, above all, of the need to know yourself. To make the most of your life and reach your ideal state of being.
Achieving this personal goal seems increasingly complicated. Moreover, something apparent in the field of psychology is that people’s needs become more complex over time.
For example, between the 60s and 80s, the classic identity crisis was one of the most common social problems. Knowing who you are and what you wanted were the main questions.
Today, it goes a little further. Modern humans live in times of uncertainty and instability. All this leads to, besides asking yourself who you are, almost always being in “survival mode”. In other words, without knowing what to expect or how to grab adversity by the horns.
This is the cause of anxiety, stress, and, above all, a very common problem nowadays: a lack of self-esteem. Thus, you should prioritize and think a little more about yourself. Strengthen your values and straighten your priorities. This is because empowering yourself will promote self-growth.
Learn to come first – the keys to doing it
Sociologists point out that humans live in an increasingly individualized, atomized world, where we, in turn, enjoy greater capacity for movement, action, and choice. However, there isn’t always satisfaction in the midst of this context and lifestyle. Moreover, unhappiness and the feeling of emptiness are recurring dimensions.
Many causes explain and materialize that reality. But the inability to assess yourself as you deserve is one of them. This supposed individuality seems to be a double-edged sword because you remain susceptible to trends. You follow the beat society plays and other people’s expectations.
Likewise, emotional relationships based on dependence and the bad habit of prioritizing others also abound. Having a supporting role in the play of your life seldom leads to good self-reviews. Sooner or later, you’ll look in the mirror and won’t like what you see.
You won’t like the person you see in the mirror because you won’t be able to identify with them. Therefore, it’s time to learn to think about yourself. Here are some keys to doing so.
Physical and mental rest
When you have many responsibilities and you’ve spent several years prioritizing others, you’ll begin to be exhausted, both mentally and physically. These situations can only drain your energy, affect your mood, and impair your motivation.
No one can be useful to others in these conditions, let alone to themselves. Therefore, you must allow yourself to rest. For instance, take a couple of days off in order to regain your strength and revisit your thoughts. Later, on a daily basis, claim a couple of hours just for yourself.
These moments of solitude will help you get in touch with your identity and personal needs.
Do what you love, your passion should be your priority
To learn to think about yourself, keep something in mind: the things you’re passionate about define you. Thus, don’t put them aside in order to care for others, for your partner’s hobbies, or for your family or friends. Position yourself because, when you do what you like, you’ll be inspired and regain energy. You’ll give your best and your whole being will be well-balanced.
Thus, if you have a pending dream, focus on it. If you have hobbies, don’t relegate them. Instead, make every day count by doing something that’ll stay forever with you, something that fulfills you.
Life isn’t just about doing things
People spend their lives doing things. You leave in the morning, then come back from work and go shopping. Then, you run errands, eat dinner, sleep, and plan… Well, where are the good emotions and feelings in the midst of these daily dynamics? In order to learn to think about yourself, you must know one thing: one of your priorities should also be to feel.
Note that doing and feeling aren’t mutually exclusive. The secret is to handle your daily tasks in a way that’s satisfactory to you. It’s even better if your job responsibilities are motivating and help you grow as a person and meet your goals.
Also, make sure to spend quality time with those around you. On the other hand, if life with your significant other, friends, family or coworkers doesn’t satisfy you and brings you more sadness than pleasure, you’re only investing in your own unhappiness.
Boost your self-esteem and learn to come first
A person who learns to prioritize themselves whenever they need is someone who’s in touch with their self-esteem. Because when you see yourself under a positive light and feel valuable, brave, and with the necessary capabilities to face challenges and achieve dreams, your psychological reality changes and you become fulfilled.
Self-esteem feeds and nourishes everything. It’s the magma of your identity and the roots that make your ability to achieve goals flourish. Therefore, how you feel will depend a lot on how you feed your self-esteem.
Being the protagonist in the story of your life will allow you to move forward with greater integrity, tuning your values, behaviors, thoughts, and words, as well as your desires with your realities.