I'm Too Old Not to Fulfill My Desires

In the end, almost without knowing how, the day arrives. Something within us awakens to tell us that we are no longer young enough to not fulfill our desires. That we no longer give any value to halfhearted hugs, unmotivated attempts or moonless nights. In the end, we reach that stage where fears crumble. We reach a stage where limits stop being chasms, so that we can try to reach new opportunities.

Jorge Luis Borges stated in the epilogue of his “Complete Works” that we, as people, are our pasts, our blood, all of the books we have read and all of the people we have ever met. However, to this list we have to add something else. We are also all of the things we weren’t able to do in their due time. We are those voids, those failed attempts where our desires were not fulfilled. Desires which weigh down on us much more heavily than the mistakes we made.

“Failure is the opportunity to start over with more intelligence.”
-Henry Ford-

Convincing ourselves that trains will always pass for those who know how to wait is little more than a sad mirage. It is a phrase that is all too often used in self-help books. There are facts that had their due time, their magic opportunity, which vanished like smoke through an open window. They will never again repeat themselves. However, in each new dawn, new doors open up and new, fresher winds come in. Neater spaces are available for us to approach with renewed attitudes.

Before we tell ourselves that “I no longer can at my age” or “these types of things aren’t for someone like me”, we should be able to detach from that sad melancholy. To do so in order to recover our hunger, to add on the will and pleasure we have to live with our hands full and our hearts lit.

Our desires pushes us to step out of our comfort zones

We are no longer young enough to not fulfill our desires or to show the beautiful sea we carry within to people who don’t know how to swim. To people who don’t understand the language of our waves. The moment arrives in which we loathe the humdrum of routine, because far from giving us comfort, it now seems like a sad winter where spring never arrives. And lovely summer nights seem like a fantasy.

The age on our identity cards doesn’t matter, because it’s the heart which holds the authentic youth we possess. That youth which still longs for new experiences, new flavors. We desire something, but… how can I give that vital need a tangible shape? How can I cross the boundaries of my routine? It might sound a bit contradictory, but sometimes we can turn our discomforts and troubles into our allies. We can use them in order to go beyond our areas of comfort and security.

Many of us still think of the term “comfort zone” as a souvenir from the motivational psychology used in the 1980’s. However, that theory emerged with the original goal of figuring out the temperature in which people felt comfortable. Yet, it proved something even more interesting. Human beings are programmed to seek out neutral spaces where they can feel comfortable and safe.

However, that security won’t always make the individual more productive or feel make them feel happier. Oftentimes, new vital necessities emerge.

Perceiving that our areas of comfort are now too small for us pushes us. Without a doubt, it pushes us to cross the boundaries of our fears in search of new opportunities. Sometimes clinging to our troubles and discomforts is the only way we can strengthen the foundations of progress.

The twists and turns of life and new opportunities

Let’s picture for a second the path our lives have taken. More likely than not, you imagined a straight line. Your past is behind you, with everything you let get away, with all of your failed attempts and the paths you never explored. On the other hand, extended before you, your future opens up. Here, where all of the possible opportunities of progress before mentioned lay at your feet.

Well, we actually shouldn’t picture our lives this way. The ideal thing would be to visualize it with twists and turns and even full circles. Peter Stange is a celebrated scientist and systems engineer. He who defines our world and existence as a beautiful system of circles which are interconnected. Almost like a mandala. They are cycles that start and end and which, in turn, intertwine beautifully among themselves. Without a doubt, thinking about our lives this way invites us to reflect upon various issues.

The opportunities we may have missed yesterday, the mistakes or the failed attempts from the past form a part of a cycle that has already ended. Seeing the beginning and the end of that cycle invites us to begin a new one. And we do so with greater solidity, wisdom and hope.

In this stage in which you currently find yourself, anything is possible. It is an open circle when you once again become receptive to everything that surrounds you. There are multiple opportunities, and you must be clear on one thing: you must not let your desires go unfulfilled. Everything you have experienced in your past is not simply behind you. It surrounds you in order to serve as a reference. In order to help you remember which doors you have already opened. To remind you which paths you can walk down with the utmost confidence.

Living is, at the end of the day, the construction of a lovely mandala. One in which everything is always in motion. You get to choose the colors. You, who will no longer keep yourself from fulfilling the desire of building the happiness you dream about.