If You Love With Your Whole Being, You Don't Deserve Someone Who Loves You Halfway
If you love with your whole being, if you give your all in a relationship, you do not deserve to be loved halfway or part-time or from their leftover scraps. You deserve to be loved from a complete and fully developed place, not from someplace that is ruined and full of cracks, that looks as if collapse is imminent to all those who happen to pass through, with no hope of change.
There are people who never change. They debate between being free or staying in a relationship that does not give them the peace that they deserve for fear of being alone. They believe it’s better to be in “bad company” than alone. To them, anything contrary would be a big mistake, and now the person no longer has the opportunity to learn how to love themselves.
So then, we will sell ourselves at the drop of a hat, reducing the value of our love. Somehow, we will leave it in the cold, without any care or protection. The message we are telling ourselves is: “Take care of yourself, my love, since I will no longer take care of you. I am waiting for someone from the outside to take care of you, because I am not willing to do it.”
Loving oneself means accepting the risk of being alone
When this is our inner dialogue we are treading on dangerous ground. First, because we are not respecting ourselves enough to get away from what does not make us happy. Second, if we are always depending on others to make us feel good…how can I make myself feel good when the other person is not around?
This is where masochistic behaviors begin. Do what you want to me, treat me how you want, because no matter how much it hurts (and it does hurt), I will keep “fighting” for us. When in reality there is no “us”, but only a “you.” Forgetting ourselves completely as a person.
It’s all to not lose the other person. I will do whatever it takes so that the other one doesn’t leave. I will take the blame for all their attitudes, take the blame for everything that goes wrong in the relationship. That way I can guarantee that my heart does not have to navigate the storm alone. It is always locked in a bottle. At least it is protected there, and does not run the risk of living.
Loving with all our being requires courage and responsibility
“Risks” that, the longer we put off taking, the more space will be created in our minds and more fear they will produce. Fear of being alone will lead us to commit the worst crimes against our hearts. We smash it, we leave it in the hands of strangers who will love us part-time and with their leftovers.
Our heart is like a newborn baby. It only wants to be with its mother, be taken care of and nourished by her. Our heart loves us first, and then when it is mature it is capable of sharing that love with another person. But, in the meantime, we should take care of it, love it, and guarantee it a place where it can be safe, can grow and learn.
When you love with all your being, you love with the responsibility this brings. You are being courageous. Because, loving someone is not a sure bet. Many times we find ourselves loving someone with no guarantee that it will turn out well. We take a risk. We know that the risk exists.
Fill your emptiness and don’t wait for it to be filled for you
But, it is better to take that risk with a heart that is well cared for and protected, than with a heart that is frayed and full of holes. Holes that we want to fill with the other person…and this is where the downfall begins. When the heart cannot survive, it is not because of the other person.
Sharing our life with someone we love is a marvelous thing. But, we need to learn to take care of ourselves first, from our innermost selves, before placing our inexperienced and weak love into someone else’s hands. It is the first step we should all take before we are able to have a healthy love for someone else.