The Hugs That Put Our Broken Parts Back Together

July 24, 2016

One day someone will hug you so hard that all your broken parts will be put back together again, you will be mended from all of your sorrows, your pains will vanish and you will smile again.

A hug is a caress, a poem written on the skin that comforts us and strengthens our emotional bonds by chasing our fears away. By warding off the feeling of chaos they fill us with strength.

There are hugs that contain such force that rather than break us, they readjust us. That’s because, to put it in a poetic way, we are tuned emotionally. In fact, hugging ourselves helps us work on our empathy and, therefore, our emotional intelligence.

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There are people, and then there are PEOPLE (yes, capitalized)

We can all agree that there are people and there are PEOPLE. Those whom we understand best are the people in our home, those who are close to us and share in our our emotions, thoughts and beliefs.

There are many reasons why we appreciate those with whom we share opinions, experiences and beliefs, including that affinity that gives us positive feelings. In fact, usually when someone likes us, we like that person back (not in sexual terms, of course). More than anything because we can behave in a more natural and relaxed manner, which makes us smile more and the exchanges are more friendly and nice.

And this becomes a virtuous circle: the more loved we feel, the more we love those who love us. And characteristics of this type of love include hugs, caresses and kisses.

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My PEOPLE are the ones who have embraced me in good times and bad

These special people we speak of often are the same who have been with us in good times and in bad. Especially in our worst times, when we were feeling the worst about ourselves, they stood by our side to give us a hug.

This means that the lower our spirits are, the more significant hugs are for us, and the more we need the affection of those who show us their appreciation and unconditional love.

In short, the more broken we are, the more aware we are of what we want from those who love us and who reserve a bit of themselves to pick us back up and show us all the love that we deserve.

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What makes our roses special is the time we spend with them

It was the time you spent with your rose that made her special,” Saint Exupery wrote in The Little Prince. And this is one of the most important pillars of our relationships.

Whether they have many or few similarities, it is truly exciting to feel that something special and unique unites us. Our PEOPLE are those that make us think and feel that “they love me for who I am, not for my opinions or their interests.

That is the most rewarding and wonderful, and what is most comforting in those moments when our belief in ourselves has been shattered. Because we remember that although we have so many broken parts that would be impossible to count all the pieces, we are whole people and irreplaceable to those who embrace us.

 

A note to the reader

If you are interested in knowing more about appreciation, love and sensitivity in our relationships I recommend reading Chapter 8 of the book “The Social Animal” by Elliot Aronson, a text on social psychology that will be a real pleasure for the curious.