How to Tell Your Partner You Don't Want to Get Married

How can you tell your partner that you don't want to get married? Follow these tips to communicate your decision without causing harm.
How to Tell Your Partner You Don't Want to Get Married
Elena Sanz

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Last update: 07 December, 2023

“I do not want to get married.” This is a difficult decision to communicate to your partner. Until just a few decades ago, marriage was seen as a universal goal toward which everyone should be moving and as the only valid destination for those in a relationship. Today, some still want to get married, but more and more people are choosing to forego this formality.

There are several reasons why someone might reject the idea of marriage. These could be related to personal ideology, such as a lack of religiosity or the desire to live together outside of institutions, for example. Other reasons relate to the state of the relationship. That is, one might consider that the time hasn’t yet come or that the bond isn’t stable enough.

In either case, it’s a decision that’s important to share and one that can lead to a difficult and uncomfortable conversation. To address it, this article offers you some keys.

Wanting to get married or not wanting are both valid decisions. The crucial thing is that both partners are on the same page. If you don’t want to get married, the right thing to do is let it be known.

How to tell your partner that you don’t want to get married

Social trends regarding marriage have changed dramatically in recent times. According to figures shared by Datosmacto, the marriage rate has fallen from more than 7% to 3% since the 70s. Despite this, there’s still that social pressure regarding the issue.

For the same reason, you may have asked yourself the question, “How do I tell my partner that I don’t want to get married?” In fact, if you know that your romantic partner does want to get married, it’s essential to deal with the matter with sincerity, tact, and empathy. In this regard, it’s worth paying attention to the following tips.

A couple having a serious conversation.
It’s crucial to be tactful and validate the feelings of your partner when communicating that you don’t want to get married.

I don’t want to get married, but I understand that you do

Finally, understand that by communicating that you don’t want to get married, you may be establishing a turning point in the relationship. Maybe your partner accepts it and is willing to continue with the bond in the same state or understands and commits to work for the changes you need to modify your opinion.

But it’s also likely that you decide to end the relationship, as for some people, marriage has a strong symbolic meaning and great relevance. If this is the scenario, it’s essential to be mature enough to respect the decision of both parties.

Your partner doesn’t have to give up their desire to get married just to stay in the relationship, nor do you have to accept an idea that you reject. For this reason, it’s best that you both reflect individually, dialogue assertively and respectfully, and make the best decision.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.