From Now On, I Am My Own Priority

August 21, 2016

I’ve often felt like I wasn’t a priority for other people. I even decided not to see it that way and convince myself otherwise. Sometimes it’s easier to do that than to accept that the other person doesn’t think we’re important.

I found myself justifying situations in which I was the replacement for someone else. I even justified negative behaviors like criticism, chalking it up to stress or worry. I finally realized that I couldn’t go on that way, and I’ve decided that from now on, my motto will be “I am my priority, not your option.”

Being my own priority doesn’t make me selfish

I’ve often heard that my new attitude is negative, but I’ve been able to convince myself that I’m doing the right thing. Incidentally, the only people who have complained are the ones who came to me when they needed me, only to disappear afterwards.

At first I doubted myself and I thought that they might be right. But later I realized that there is nothing more gratifying than loving myself, taking care of myself, pleasing myself, and doing what I want. Sometimes this means being alone, but that’s not a negative thing.

In fact, when I became my own priority, new people came into my life. You’ll discover that you’ll attract people who are really interested in you. They won’t spend every day with you because they have their own lives and dreams to fulfill, but they’ll be there when they need to be. It’s so gratifying to start living for yourself and stop coming second in your life!

I’ve accepted that some people simply used me

woman turning away

The hardest part of being your own priority is recognizing that some people simply use you. When they need something, they come to you. And you feel important, but they’re only interested in what they can get out of you.

This can sometimes include family members and people you thought were friends. It hurts a lot because they have a special place in your heart. The moment I started to think of myself as a priority, I received a lot of complaints and criticism from them.

They tried to continue acting the same way. When I started to use the word “no,” as a response to their demands, more than one of them got angry. They didn’t seem to understand my behavior, and I realized that they were a burden in my life.

I’ve finally put space between these people and myself. This is difficult when it involves a family member, because they’ll always be a part of your life. But the difference is that now I say “no” when I need to, and I don’t pay attention to their complaints.

The importance of recognizing your worth

The main reason I let myself be only an option was my insecurity. I thought that I didn’t have many qualities that made me important. I spent the whole time criticizing myself and hurting myself more than anyone else hurt me.

When I decided to be my priority, I started looking for those qualities. It wasn’t easy at first, but once I accepted myself, they started to appear. I considered things that I didn’t think were important before and made note of them.

All of this had a snowball effect. When I discovered a new quality and accepted it, it gave way to another, and then another. Don’t think that you lack positive qualities. It’s more likely that you’re not paying attention to who you really are.

I am my priority, and that won’t change

anime girl

I need to accept that it’s difficult to think about the past and not feel a certain nostalgia for it. I miss the people who have left my life. Sometimes I want to go back to the way it was, but then I remember how I felt and I see that I am happier now. Of course, not everything is perfect. But life is already too complicated without feeling like I’m not important to the people around me.

Once I realized that I was just an option, many people just walked away. Some did so regretfully, and others angrily. But of all those people, nobody has returned to try and resolve things.

I suppose that everyone has a time in my life, and theirs has ended completely. I guess there’s no reason to restart these “friendships.” I don’t want to be anyone’s option for the rest of my life.