How I Freed Myself from My Emotional Wounds
When it comes to talking about emotional wounds, we’re not exclusively referring to harm that other people have caused us. We too are responsible for much of our personal emptiness and limitations.
Some thoughts cause us harm. We shouldn’t feed our ego or cling to the past, for example. Our attitude towards life can sometimes erode away at the soul and the way we relate to the world.
Healing and correcting these internal damages can set us free emotionally. However, we should first do a healthy exercise of reflection and be determined to change things, but it has to come from within.
Therein lies true emotional strength.
We all think that we are free, but this is false. We are controlled by our beliefs, which are sometimes limiting, and by our emotional wounds, which keep us in chains. How can we be reborn emotionally so that we can be truly free?
Tips for achieving emotional freedom
First of all, we need to understand that not everyone is the same, nor have we had the same life experiences.
Nevertheless, when we talk about thoughts and emotions that limit our personal growth and freedom, there are a few basic guidelines that are worth at least keeping in mind and reflecting on.
1. Don’t be afraid of emotional pain
Pain, like suffering, can’t be hidden in a secret corner of our bodies. All wounds bleed, and all emotional pain is cried, shouted, or felt in deep loneliness.
Your emotions are not your enemies, and they don’t define you either. That is, you can suffer disappointment at a very critical moment in your life, but your whole existence won’t be (nor should it be) tainted by this feeling.
Pain is experienced in the here and now, and it should be understood and managed in the healthiest way possible. Choosing to hide these emotions makes you a prisoner in life, and your personal and emotional freedom will be nothing but an illusion.
2. Learn to be sympathetic towards yourself
Have you made a mistake? Have you invested a lot of time in a person who might not have deserved it? Don’t punish yourself or label yourself as naive, and definitely don’t call yourself a failure.
No life worth living is immune to mistakes. Moreover, everything you think of as a mistake is really just a learning experience that can make you stronger.
Be sympathetic towards yourself and understand that the last thing you should do is feed the blame you feel over what happened.
Blame drags you down, drowns you, and poisons you; it’s a true enemy of emotional freedom. Maintain an open mind capable of accepting every experience, good or bad, because at the end of the day, that’s life.
Try to wake up every morning with a renewed sense of hope, open up to yourself and others, and know that you deserve to be happy again. Block the flood of negative thoughts that imprisons you.
Every effort that you make, every step that you take towards being happy, will be a way to free yourself from mistakes and blame. Nourish your sense of hope, but not disappointment.
3. You can’t change others
If you have to live with family, parents, or siblings who have hurt you in some way, know that you can’t change them. You can’t change their personality or their way of understanding things.
However, in order to be free emotionally, you should find healing within yourself. It’s you who matters in this case. It’s you who’s suffering.
You may have internalized many of the things that have happened to you in the past, and they may have created an internal wound, and this is where your chains lie.
Free yourself. Tell yourself that it can no longer hurt you. Try to forgive, but at the same time set limits.
Let go of the words both said and unsaid, heal the pain and disappointment and contempt, let go of your burdens, and raise your voice to make it clear that you won’t be a victim. You are cured, you have been reborn, and you are emotionally liberated.
4. Heal your roots
What are we referring to when we say “heal your roots?” This is without a doubt a complex idea that is the backbone of many personal aspects, experiences, and psychological constructs. However, it’s enough to just consider these dimensions.
Reflect on the following:
- Disable your ego every day, which will give you a wider and freer view of things.
- Don’t give in to hatred or resentment. Avoid extremes because both sides drag you down. Maintain balance and inner peace, and prioritize your emotional freedom over everything else.
- Don’t protect yourself with unrealistic positivity. Don’t put on a smile when you’re feeling extremely sad, because all this does is beautify the leaves of your tree, while ignoring that the roots are diseased.
- Feel your emotions and manage them adequately, or else you’ll be wearing a mask that is far removed from who you actually are. Personal growth requires being brave and honest with yourself.
“Running away from fear is fear; fighting pain is pain; trying to be brave is being scared.”
-Alan Watts (British philosopher 1915-1973)-
Images courtesy of: Kelly Vivanco