Five Tips to Better Choose Your Friends

April 6, 2020
Even though friendship is often the product of random encounters, there are some things you can do to better choose your friends. Continue reading to find out how to do it.

You must learn to choose your friends because friendship is one of the most important interpersonal relationships that exist. Furthermore, it’s also the one where you can experience the most disappointments. Sometimes, after years of having a relationship with a person, they can fail you or you suddenly realize that they’re toxic. There are times where people lament not having real friends. Thus, if you’re in this position, it might be time to learn to choose your friends.

Thanks to technology, it’s pretty easy to make friends these days, or at least that’s what you might think. The results of a survey by Time magazine revealed that many people didn’t have close friends. Perhaps the reason is that most people don’t know how to choose their friends properly. Here are some tips that might help!

Tips to better choose your friends

Three friends talking.

1. Talk about your common interests

One of the first tips for better choosing your friends is to talk about your common interests. Even though you may feel sympathy for a person when you first meet them, it’s always a good idea to have a conversation in which you can figure out if you share some ideas or hobbies.

Why is this necessary, though? Well, it’s because you need to make plans with your friends to get to know them even better and strengthen your relationship. In the event that you don’t have any leisure time to meet, then imagine trying to plan a weekend getaway. It would be impossible. Therefore, talking about your common interests will allow you to find like-minded people to share your free time with.

2. To better choose your friends, find out if they only contact you when they need you

The second tip to better choose your friends is to try to identify if they approach you because they want to make plans and share their time with you by doing some joint activity or if, on the contrary, they only seek you when they need you. You’ll easily detect this because they’ll probably ask you to do them a favor.

When this situation continues over time, you’ll begin to feel bad. In fact, you’ll realize that you’re the only one who’s asking them to meet for coffee or a chat. Also, they’re seldom available when you need to talk and let off steam. These are important things you must take into account.

3. How do they treat other people?

This piece of advice is as necessary as it is important. Yes, a person might treat you well, but it doesn’t mean they have the same values. Thus, they may not be a person you want to start a friendship with. For this reason, it’s imperative that you analyze how they treat other people, especially other friends and family.

Imagine that you’re always very comfortable with a friend. You share your opinions and can discuss all sorts of topics without problems. However, one day, they show you a part of their personality you didn’t know and don’t necessarily like with their partner or one of their parents. Thus, paying attention to this circumstance will allow you to draw your own conclusions and make a decision.

4. Tackle controversial issues

Talking about politics, for example, can be a controversial topic with which to put this point into practice. It’s about choosing the most sensitive topics on which you can chat with your friends to know how they react. Perhaps you realize that they’re taboo for some of them or that others think that their opinion is the only one that matters.

Addressing controversial issues will also help you gauge the degree of tolerance that your friends have. Even if you don’t think the same about a certain topic, it’s important that you respect the opinions of others. In addition, it’s important for you to listen to them as you expect them to do with you.

Three people at a coffee shop.

5. Don’t be obsessed with finding the perfect friend

The last of the tips is to avoid getting obsessed with finding the perfect friend. This will only cause you to be constantly on the search and feel like you don’t fit in with anyone. This is indicated in the article “The negative consequences of maximizing friendship selection”. You should choose your friendships better but don’t become inflexible.

As you can see, your goal should be to choose those people who really bring something positive to your life. Also, you must analyze the friendships you currently have or those you have long-standing relationships with. Are they positive?