I Don't Fear Those Who Attack Me

I Don't Fear Those Who Attack Me
Raquel Aldana

Written and verified by the psychologist Raquel Aldana.

Last update: 28 July, 2022

In life, there is no lack of occasions when we are surprised by the attitudes of the people around us whom we believed to be faithful and loyal friends. In fact, we often do not recognize the false friend until the damage is already done…

What is certain is that being stabbed in the back causes us a great deal of suffering. A suffering that sometimes becomes unbearable because it implies broken confidence and the end of a relationship with someone for whom we previously would have done anything.

While it may be extremely difficult to protect ourselves from the hypocrisy and betrayal of those whom we considered friends, we have to always keep in mind that while not all that glitters is gold, but we can still have faith in the world.

Girl in Circus

Friendship: a very precious good

As we all know, true friendship is a scarce good that is built on good feelings, hopes, and expectations. Anyone who has a friend does not have only a treasure, but a fortune.

But friendships also go bad (or better said, relationships do). They go bad when we stop caring for one another and we forget the values that hold them up.

The bad thing is when betrayal and lies come into play, covering up the good intentions in the middle of the game. Then the field is flooded with hypocrisy and falseness.

In these moments, we may feel like something is breaking inside of us and the world is turning its back on us. Our castles crumble and we find ourselves in a completely destroyed world.

Recovering our faith in humanity can be pretty difficult then. In fact, it can even be difficult to let go of that part of ourselves that until now has been with us.

In this sense, those friendships that betray us do no honor to the term friend; they were simply relationships that could be something beautiful but were distorted along the way or maybe from the start.

Lizard Creeping on Girl

5 types of bad friends

There are 5 possible profiles for false friends that we must recognize to prevent their influence on our lives.

1. Those who always want to be the best

Having ambitions and insecurities is not bad, but there are people who always want to be superior. They are characterized by not being happy and not praising us for our successes. They will always be better or worse than us and they will not listen; they will only want to be listened to.

2. Those who always have problems

They are defined by their inability to feel blessed and their constant search for compassion and support. They complain about everything and life itself is a drama for them. It does not matter if you are going through hard times, you will end up consoling them due to their desperate demand for comforting words.

3. Those who always make you feel bad

These are people who make you feel guilty and selfish every time you move a finger or open your mouth. Everything that you do will be bad and they will never make you feel like you are acting the right way unless they want something from you.

4. Those who only want to gossip

Gossiping, speaking badly of others, and judging anything are their biggest hobbies. When you are with them, you get the feeling that they only want to investigate and find out about the latest happenings in your life. The fact that there is no sincere interest can be noted by their tone and their insistence.

5. Those who only want to take advantage

There are people who try to take advantage of everything and everyone, including your misery. The balance generally leans in their favor and they only come around when there is a guarantee that they can get something out of the situation.

Girl Surrounded by Worms

Although they let me down time and again, I still believe that there are good people

Well yes, there are good people. Not one, not a million betrayals can make us believe that the world is full of darkness. Additionally, it is clear that we are not infallible and that sometimes we make mistakes without meaning to “stab our friends in the back.”

In fact, not everything in the world is totally good or bad; it is just that when they betray us, the person who does this seems like a terrible demon to us. Even so, we have to use these experiences to learn what it is that we desire and who we want to be around us.

It is likely that no matter how much armor we put on, we will keep finding ourselves in bad relationships along the way. This is why, given that doubts, mistrust, and falseness only do us harm and poison us, we have to take strength and cultivate our directness, honesty, and loyalty. Without armor and without masks, in a simply honest way.

Images courtesy of Nicoletta Ceccoli

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.