The Direction Your Life Takes Depends on Your Values, not Goals

What mark would we like to leave on this world after everything is over? Sometimes we find ourselves feeling like we have no control. It feels like we’re on a big bus going anywhere our fellow passengers want. We make decisions based on what people around us say we should do. And so, we end up taking paths heading a completely direction than our values.
We carry baggage full of insecurity, getting heavier and heavier as time passes, and leaving no room for our values. As a result, we are blinded to the fact that time does not stop. And that turning back is not always possible.
Values are life’s signposts
To begin with, a value is not an outcome or goal. A value cannot run out, it is always there. Values define the words we use to shape our lives: acceptance, persistence, order, conformity, impartiality, intimacy. It is a long list of directions we use to choose goals that really matter to us.
Therefore, a valuable life is the result of acting in service to things we actually value. The problem is that many times we don’t know how to identify what those values are, and how they relate to our lives.
There are nine main areas that make up your life: family relationships, intimate or romantic relationships, social relationships, work, education, leisure, spirituality, citizenship, and health.
“Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values.”
-Joshua Loth Liebman-

We give each of these areas a certain level of importance and in each one we act differently to overcome obstacles. However, the trick is that many times the solutions we implement do not follow our principles. That’s the reason we do things we regret later on or feel paralyzed making decisions. All of this leads us to feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or lost.
Regrets at the wrong time
Bronnie Ware, a Canadian nurse, collected the last regrets of her patients in a palliative care unit over several years. An article published later by the Harvard Business Review corroborated the same information. There are 5 common regrets of people who are going to die, “I wish I…”:
- Had lived a life faithful to myself and not to what others wanted.
- Hadn’t worked so hard and had spent more time with my significant other and family.
- Would have had the courage to express my feelings.
- Had kept in contact with my friends more.
- Had been happier.
“Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values.”
-Any Rand-
Happiness is a choice. Fear of change chains us to habits that do not satisfy. We spend more time making others believe we are happy than actually being happy.

You choose where to go
Let’s remember the key is to anticipate this frustration, to find our values and to set objectives which that give meaning to this journey of life. Psychological professionals help people go from words to action. The first step is to identify our values and prioritize them based on where we are in life.
From that point, short and long term goals are established. This means our values will form the pillars upon which we will be setting long-term goals. Objectives that really give us meaning and the opportunity to grow and be happy with ourselves.
Then we will specify and plan out those objectives with actions. This is the scary part because we have to anticipate difficulty. Making changes causes insecurity, and we might want to run away. But we work throughout the whole process to overcome obstacles and barriers. We must always keep in mind that there is no greater health than the one achieved through our own choices.
“Open your arms to change, but do not let go of your values.”
-Dalai Lama-
This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.