How To Coexist With An Anxious Person

How To Coexist With An Anxious Person

Last update: 07 November, 2015

Anxiety is a challenging problem, not only for those who suffer it, but also for the people around them. It can undoubtedly become somewhat exhausting. It requires a lot of energy and not everyone is willing to spend their life with someone who is so demanding, who angers and is easily frustrated, and responds badly when things don’t go as planned. A person with anxiety can reach the point of blaming other people for everything that occurs.

Anxious people tend to be very impulsive; they don’t think before they speak, don’t plan things very far ahead and have trouble with intimate relationships (Including partnerships, friendships or family.)


Eyes and butterflies

“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.”
Charles Spurgeon-

If you live with someone whose anxiety has exceeded a normal limit, don’t make the mistake of walking away and leaving them alone with their problem. A person who suffers from anxiety has an imbalance for some reason and the majority of their reactions aren’t rational. Putting yourself in their shoes will help their situation immensely.

How to make living with an anxious person easier

The key, as always in a relationship, is to develop a sense of understanding. Paying attention to these tips can help you to live with an anxious person:

Remember the person behind the anxiety

Surely your partner, your friend or your child has a vast array of positive personality traits that can counteract the negativity of their anxiety.

We can all have times when we feel nervous or pressured, but proceed to later being quiet and loving. So it’s important to look beyond what they may be anxious about, and appreciate their positive qualities, instead.

When we become anxious, our brain is incapable of resting or ‘disconnecting’. We’re constantly aware of what’s going on around us and we can’t sit still. This emotional state is very overwhelming; if we add how it feels to live in a hostile environment, on top of that, things just keep getting more difficult. Why not take a weekend off with your partner to go to the countryside or the beach?

Help them feel understood

Telling them “I understand you’re anxious” isn’t enough. When they’re feeling anxious, help them think about it in a rational way. Together, you can come to the best conclusions and solve the problems.

If besides feeling overwhelmed by the situation, their nerves and anxiety, you tell them to ‘calm down’, things aren’t going to work out. Don’t nag them by telling them to “forget about it”, “relax”, or “take a nap”. The more you do, the worse they’ll feel.

Talk it over. There’s nothing more liberating for another person than to talk about how they’re going through. Maybe just by having a conversation about the problem, their anxiety may decrease and cease. If they ask to talk to you, don’t deny them that privilege. You may be the oasis they’re craving in the middle of the dessert. Remember that active listening can be really helpful in these situations.

Celebrate the little things

If you appreciate that the other person is making an effort to especially lessen their anxiety levels and the results are small (but effective), congratulate them! Tell them they’re doing well, make them feel supported and recognized for their dedication.

Be very patient, especially when improvements are gradual and slow. Remember than any change for the better is welcome, no matter how small.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.