A Clean Slate, a New Smile
I’m writing to tell you I’m leaving you. I suppose you’ve already figured out that I met someone. It’s me. I’m going to give myself a chance. I deserve it.
I have stayed by your side for longer than I should have and you need to recognize that. Your mouth was full of empty promises. I waited for too many years, longing for hugs and caresses that you would never give.
Why have you treated me like this? We had a wonderful, promising future ahead of us. Can you tell me what you are so afraid of? It’s me. Your desire, your enthusiasm, your will to live.
I could have sworn that your soul smiled when you thought of me.
All of these sunrises, travels, and opportunities have escaped from us. Our time together is over and…and nothing. There is just emptiness. So I’ve decided that I’m going out on my own, to be responsible for myself and fulfill my life’s goals. I am here for something, and that is not to let life pass me by.
There was a time when rainy afternoons made you think of me, smile, and make a million plans. On Mondays, when you woke up early to study or go to work, you told me: “With you till the end of the world.” And I – how silly of me – I believed it.
Of course, if I had to choose a time to stay by your side, it would obviously be the summertime. I could see the life on your face! The first week of summer you always burned with passion, you never left me in the sun or in the shadows, and we had an intense romance.
But later…later you left me crying. You forgot again and started letting life pass you by again. Day after day after day. How boring!
The beginning of a new year also held new promises for us. You filled every corner of our home with new projects. Our days were numbered, living in paradise, but… deep in my heart I always hoped – I always thought you would start burning with passion again and tear my clothes off with your teeth.
Why am I leaving now?
Because I have already lived a long time, too long, chained to the “prison of tomorrow.” Some of the suffering and affliction of our lives together have “clicked” in my head and pressed the right button.
So…a clean slate and a new smile. I woke up one day and, not knowing what to wear, decided to wear a smile. It’s my lucky dress, my evening dress.
We have lived through a lot together. But time passes and we still haven’t defined our relationship.
You know, I’m not just another toy you can collect. Life is for living, for overcoming obstacles and sharing your goals and dreams. You are not in this world to whine and let every opportunity pass you by.
Your strength, your dreams, and I have always been together, with you. We have never let you down – but we are just incompatible. We live to take action while you just talk about it.
We yelled at you every single day of every month of every year: We’re here, come find us when you wake up! And you were always tired or just didn’t want to. So the hope that kept me by your side started to disappear…
I have not given up, although I guess I was wrong to trust that you would bring me along with you forever. I have fallen, I have suffered, and I have cried. And all of this for being by your side.
Now, my patience is gone. From today on, I am going to live. To smile as if there were no tomorrow. The last thing I want is for you to be sad – this is what’s best for the both of us.
Simply put, this entire situation has made me feel so small, which means now is the time to grow. Promise me you will learn to fly. I’m giving you the best reason to use your wings. That reason is you!!!
Signed: Your enthusiasm for life.
Feature image courtesy of Natilles