I Have Changed and Now I Give Each Person the Value They Deserve

· November 21, 2016

Almost always and fortunately, the experiences we have change us, and help restore our priorities and views. They help us “realize” we should not allow people to step on us, take advantage of our ideas or make us feel small. In short, we learn to give each person the value he or she deserves.

Prioritizing and giving each person the position he or she deserves in our lives means building a solid foundation for our self-esteem, strengthening the idea we have of ourselves and discerning what is positive and what is negative for us.

To do this, we must assume that not everyone should have a say in our lives. Trust and priority are two privileges that are “earned” and “built.” We reserve the privilege to accept whether someone can influence our day to day lives.

woman with yellow irises

Maturing is a synonym for growing and prioritizing

Over time we become experts in “realizing” what really interests us. We talk about healthy and unhealthy links, people that enrich us and people who hurt us, customs and expectations, etc.

We obsess about pleasing everyone because we like everyone, which makes us end up generating the feeling that we are surrounded by quantity rather than quality. It usually changes over time. Whether it is because of the years or the damage, we begin to give priority to those we consider to be important in our lives.

This is not about forgiving or not forgiving mistakes, nor is it trying to be free of disappointments or seeking arms to protect us from the rejection, abandonment or lurches that we get along the way.

It is not a matter of having friends or partners for life. It is not a question of wanting to achieve perfection in a person. It is rather about reconciling our priorities by making us aware of our affections and enriching our relational baggage.

woman looking through glass with droplets of rain

Do not live by appearances, they always change

In order to let go of those who do no good for us, we first have to stop harboring the idea that emotional pain is an inherent part of our relationships.

We choose the people that have value in our life and the priority we give them. The stages we go through determine the masks we wear and the ones others put on. Therefore, to unmask ourselves and others, we must first rinse our eyes and realize the damage caused by trying to be the way others expect and long for us to be.

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The importance of knowing and valuing our concerns

We all are the way we are. Our character should belong to us and not to respond to the impositions, priorities and interests that others put on us.

To get this kind of freedom, we have to examine our past and emotional present, assess what kind of priorities we accumulate and what (and who) they correspond to. This is important when cleaning the dirt that inhabits in our life.

We usually let the pain of “those concessions” that we offer at the expense of our identity accumulate. We do not reflect on this and that certainly makes us feel the need to escape from ourselves.

birds in the sky

This is like a person with allergies going under a carpet thinking that the dust won’t affect their health and that it will not hinder something as vital as breathing. When looked at this way, there is no doubt that those issues and people who are negative for us are just taking over our present.

This takes away the positive and it hurts. It hurts a lot. So when you have had enough of the pain of having inadequate priorities, look inside, heal and go up another step. A step from which you shout: Enough! I will not give others the value they do not deserve.

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