In our day-to-day, we oftentimes find ourselves in this same situation. Our reality is sometimes chaotic, demanding, complex, and even painful . Life is the tightrope, and we are the acrobats who must keep our balance so as to not lose control. Applying balanced thinking is the key to achieving this because, with it, our emotions also find tranquility. Our “feet” find the right direction to allow us to accomplish a concrete objective.
However, it’s safe to say that achieving it isn’t easy. Our brain time functions unconsciously and through automatic processes most of the time. Those mental shortcuts often derive from many biases, limiting attitudes, and rigid schemes that oftentimes lead us to extremes. Thus, you must assume control over your own being in order to find flexibility and that magical balance that reorders (almost) everything.
Balanced thinking: finding calmness in the midst of uncertainty
A couple of years ago, an interesting study was conducted in the University Medical Center Hamburg-Eppendorf. A group of patients with depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) were brought together. These patients were included in a year-long metacognitive training program. The purpose was concrete, as well as challenging: getting people to tolerate uncertainty, the reduction of cognitive distortions, making them reflect about their own thoughts and improve their reasoning processes.
The result of this study was very positive, so much so that medication doses were reduced in many cases. All of this invites us to conclude with the classic phrase “better thoughts lead to a better life.” Now, let’s look at which inner processes tend to lower our quality of life.
Many of our thoughts are distorted
Anxiety, constant worrying, and fears work through negative anchors. We apply them almost without even noticing it, focusing on what will happen, on the mistakes we’ve made in the past, on the worst things we can imagine… That cognitive pattern is often based on the type of sophisticated and relentless mental engineering: distorted thoughts. Among these, we can find the following, ones we tend to apply quite often in our day-to-day:
Filtering: We focus our attention on negative details in order to intensify them.Polarized thinking : In our reality, there are no middle terms. Everything is good or bad, black or white.Overgeneralization: From the smallest and most insignificant things, we are capable of inferring tremendous and dramatic conclusions.Catastrophic views: Nothing good will ever happen. No matter what you do, everything will go wrong!Personalization: Every casual event or even everything you do, think, or say to others, has to do with you.Emotional reasoning: What you feel is what defines you. If you feel like a failure , it’s because you truly are a failure.
Taking these thought patterns into account, it’s possible that some of you may be wondering what you must do to fix it. Do you have to head in the opposite direction and start “thinking positively” ? Well, as weird as it might seem, this isn’t the solution either. It’s not about putting extreme positivism into practice nor about telling yourself that “everything is going to be okay.”
If you tried to apply this, you’d be applying distorted thinking. Therefore, it’s not about going to any extremes, of thinking only about the good or bad things.
A good “balancer” keeps a cool head, takes one step at a time, and assumes full responsibility for themself. They keep an eye on their surroundings with
attention and objectivity.
How to apply balanced thinking
Applying balanced thinking in your everyday life will not only reduce your risk of stress, anxiety, or falling into depression. Thinking in a balanced manner also improves your coexistence because it helps you avoid prejudice, selfishness, and fanaticism.
A balanced way of thinking helps you let go of many inner traps that prevent you from having a fulfilling life. It lets you love yourself a bit more and also respect the people around you. Thus, let’s learn how to use this kind of thinking.
The keys to applying balanced thinking
The first step is to remain calm. Sometimes we live in a hurry because we’ve become accustomed to living automatically. This kind of life intensifies the emergence of “unbalanced” thoughts. That is to say, thinking without reasoning, letting yourself get carried away, without reflecting, seeing, or appreciating… Slow down and allow yourself moments of silence and tranquility.
The second step is to not make assumptions. Achieving this may be a little difficult, but try to avoid making snap judgments and labeling people. Doing so may get the job done quicker. However, it also greatly increases your mistakes.Stop sabotaging yourself. Say “no” to the distortion of reality and to always being the victim. Respect yourself, work on your self-esteem and confidence, and you’ll see opportunities where you once only saw closed doors.Accept uncertainty. A balanced way of thinking tolerates uncertainty because it knows that everything up ahead isn’t bad. Anyways, if it is, you have the right strategies to face whatever may happen.Don’t distort reality, learn to see things the way they are. Don’t obsess over how you would like things to be. Be more receptive and more humble.Place more trust in others. Don’t exclude others who think differently than you. Don’t feel superior or inferior to anybody. Practice acceptance and leave aside old resentments.
To conclude, we’re aware that a balanced way of thinking is not an easy thing to apply every day. Doing so implies restructuring your being, breaking down walls, correcting approaches, and allowing yourself to be a bit more “free.” Take on this objective as a daily exercise. Learn to adopt a more tranquil, receptive, and balanced approach.
