What Can We Learn from Painful Experiences?

March 2, 2018

The title of this article, in itself, actually inspires a bit of peace and relief. The idea that painful experiences can be lessons learned gives us peace of mind. There is life after pain, where we can apply what has been learned. 

We all have experienced suffering that we thought would never end. It felt like it would go on forever. Pain that will be buried in the depths of your being and make your life hard, your path in life complicated.

You find yourself sinking into a never-ending spiral of pain. Thinking about the future, you can guess how your life will be. But if we could leave this dark, gray place we’re in and look at ourselves from outside ourselves… we’d realize we’re under a black cloud with a clear end.

Behind painful experiences are lessons to learn

We find ourselves under a black cloud and it’s pouring. It rains and rains, it soaks us to the bone. We are exposed. We are cold and afraid of dying frozen on this winter day with no shelter. We are raw. We suffer the consequences of being naked and vulnerable under a black cloud that won’t stop unleashing its anger on us. 

Painful experiences: a cloud snowing over a mug.

Somehow, we are our own black clouds. We create the giant battles we are fighting. We color our life in gray. Have you ever seen yourself like this before? Telling yourself with extreme cruelty and conviction that you will never get out of this suffering. That you cannot recover from such pain in your soul…

Believe me, you will recover. You will. The painful experiences that you go through (breakups, fights, disappointments) become a part of you.

Even if you’re going through a hard time, rest assured you will learn from it

There are tiny lessons in each experience, even if you don’t realize it. Even if you think the process is not happening, not for you at least. But it is happening. It is certain. Each and every of the painful experiences has a meaning in the end.

The meaning is to show us something we must learn so we can continue down our path with a lighter burden on our back and our limits clear. When the limits of our path are not defined, we run into walls and stumble from one place to the next. On the other hand, when we build our identity and seek out what makes us fulfilled, our minds become more lucid and our roads more fertile.

Therefore, painful experiences are intimately linked with chances to learn something in life. Behind every bad experience there is a potential lesson we shouldn’t overlook. Because there are situations in life that we repeat over and over again until we learn from them. 

Suffering is human, just like learning from experiences

So, even though you see yourself in that gray, dark cloud, full of rage and desolation, rest assured that behind it is a wonderful sun just waiting to shine warm light on you. Of course, when you’re under the cloud, it’s not easy to see this. But it’s ok, everything has its time. It’s normal to suffer. In fact, it’s human.

A pregnant woman hugging herself.

It’s also normal to get out of this suffering and learn from it. Sometimes, it will take more effort and other times, less. In any case, do not forget what you went through and all of the times you thought you were on a sinking ship.

Maybe you think it’s worse now, or that you never went through anything like it before. Believe me when I tell you that the rules are always the same. What goes down must come up. And in the end you will appreciate the fact that you didn’t throw in the towel.