The Dangers of Overly Demanding People

The Dangers of Overly Demanding People
Raquel Aldana

Written and verified by the psychologist Raquel Aldana.

Last update: 28 July, 2022

Many people around us are addicted to asking for things from us over and over without offering anything in return. We’re talking about people that take advantage of certain situations and believe that what’s in their best interest is more important than anything else.

Usually they don’t ask themselves if their demands are fair or unfair, since they don’t ever look beyond their own interests. Obviously, some people are more obviously egotistical than others, but usually with time we’re able to open our eyes and protect ourselves from them.

Nevertheless, there are some smiles that sometimes manage to cover an excessively demanding personality. This is especially dangerous for our emotional integrity, since it can even make us feel guilty for not giving them what they’re asking from us, though it’s not even within our grasp.

girl with long red hair

Don’t mistake kindness for ingenuity 

As people tend to say, one thing is to be nice and another is to be dumb. The thing is that many times we sin in favor of the latter for the sake of not renouncing our kindness. And as a consequence, people may tend to take advantage of us.

In this kind of situation, it’s normal for us to feel sad, let down, irritable and distrusting. Why would we expect someone for whom we’ve done so much for to let us down like that?

Once again, our problem lies within our expectations, since he who expects too much, can expect to be disappointed.

girl in the snow

Sometimes we give it all and don’t receive anything in return

There’s a fine line between use and abuse of our trust. Wanting to please everyone is sentencing our own fate. Therefore, you have to be careful to not make the mistake of giving in on everything because you feel blackmailed or morally obliged.

Either way, it doesn’t always mean that we’re being used every time we feel this way. It’s just that others don’t react the way we would and that upsets us and increases our feeling of being used.

So the ideal thing would be for us to be careful, assess the situation well and be patient before we conclude that someone is taking advantage of us. In other words, we should make the facts outweigh our emotions.

girl on the tip of the moon

Don’t let others make you into someone you’re not 

Vampire-like people are only interested in their own benefits. When you discover them, keep your plans far from their lives and establish emotional limits that don’t put your identity into jeopardy. Keep in mind that every bond requires reciprocity, without turning it into a contract of “I’ll only help you when you help me.”

Giving to receive doesn’t require you to return the favor in the same way, but it does speak of willingness and mutual generosity. Both parties of the relationship should feel and transmit it, because otherwise the relationship is doomed. 

Pay attention to not falling into vampire-like relationships again. Say no when you feel like it, but do it in an assertive way. Ask for respect and know that you’re worth it. 

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.