9 Habits That Keep Love Alive
Ana is no longer happy with him. Everything that she fell in love with seems to have disappeared. She feels lonely, unappreciated…he no longer sends her messages from work that say “I’m thinking about you” nor does he kiss her when they see each other. She wonders, “What has happened to our love? Is there even a way we can fix it?”
Ana has decided to stop trusting in him and feels that there is no longer anything that keeps them together. No more kisses or touching, they don’t even speak or share stories with one another. These are the small, daily actions that made them feel close and made Ana feel special. Routine, time, and perhaps the belief that nothing more can be accomplished is ruining her relationship with Pedro.
Pedro is no longer happy either. When he gets home from work, he feels just as alone as Ana does. They both have their own separate work hours and many times Pedro will eat lunch or dinner without the company of Ana’s beautiful smile that he still remembers while finishing his meal before going to bed. He also sleeps alone, because Ana works the night shift.
This story that we have just told you could be applied to many couples who are stuck in circumstances much like these. However, in situations like this, are there any solutions for getting the relationship back on track?
Love is the greatest of mysteries and also the greatest of adventures that each one of us experiences in our own unique way. There are no recipes or magical formulas for love, nor anything special that keeps it going. Perhaps love is more like a small plant that we must care for every day or even a flame that burns brightly some days and others is just an ember, but it never completely dies.
Although there are no magical spells for love, applying emotional intelligence to our relationships works even better in maintaining what we are feeling towards one another. Therefore, we would like to share an interesting article with you from “Psychology Today,” written by psychiatrist and counselor Mark Goulston. Mark is also the author of a book called, The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship. Here he discusses 9 habits that characterize happy and successful relationships. The best part is that it isn’t magic, just emotional intelligence.
Take a look at the following 9 habits that happy couples share according to Dr. Goulston. Does your relationship thrive from any of these?
1. They have common interests. Doing things together unites us. And while doing things apart may be fine in our relationships, getting together makes things much more interesting. Therefore, keep an eye on how much time you are spending apart and make time to enjoy things together.
2. They trust and forgive one another. Holding onto resentment and never forgiving one another damages the relationship. After a fight, when things have calmed down, talk to each other, forgive one another and give back the trust. This is so much stronger than holding onto grudges.
3. They walk side by side, hand in hand. Walking together while holding hands is a way of feeling like we are in sync with one another. It’s a way of helping us feel closer.
4. They go to bed at the same time. In the beginning of every relationship, partners are used to going to bed at the same time because they want to remain intimate and share those moments of passion together as much as they can. However, these couples are able to spend a lot of time together because they create a schedule around one another. They know how important it is to make time to be together intimately in the bedroom (whether on a physical or emotional level).
5. They say “Good morning” and “I love you” everyday. What better way is there to start the day than hearing these two phrases? They work wonders in boosting our confidence so that we can face the day.
6. They say “Good night” before going to sleep, even if they are angry at one another. It’s a way of letting our partner know that, even though we may have had an argument, we still love them.
7. They call one another or send some kind of message during the day. This is a great way of staying connected with our partner. Knowing how their day is going helps us to be more understanding when they get home.
8. They are proud to be seen with each other. They hold hands, waists or arms while walking together. They are not afraid to be seen together affectionately. They aren’t showing off, just demonstrating the love they have for one another.
9. They focus on the positive aspects of each other, not the faults. We all have positive and negative characteristics. But the best thing we can do for one another is to focus on the positives and let the small negatives be. Focusing on what’s negative only draws more negativity into the relationship.
Would you say these are habits that you and your partner share? What would you add to this list? There are many ways to keep a relationship strong, and as long as both partners are willing to work at it, there is always a way to maintain the love that you both share.