4 Myths About Relationships We Should Leave Behind
We receive many messages about how what romantic relationships should look like. We’re getting a constant flow of information, everywhere, on how to be in a relationship: through literature, film, music, television, advertisements, etc. Many of these ideas remain anchored in our beliefs, and subsequently in our behavior.
These beliefs contribute to us creating false expectations and feeling frustrated.
Let’s look at four of the most common myths about relationships:
1. Our better half is out there and we’ll only feel fulfilled once we find them
It’s a very common idea to believe that we all have a soulmate, a person who is going to support us, and with which we will always find wellness and personal fulfillment.
It’s a mistake to look to another person to bring you fulfillment. In doing so, we weigh down the other person with that responsibility, with the belief that they should be the ones who complete us.
There is no perfect love, and acting like we can achieve it will only make us frustrated and cause unhappiness and relationship problems.
As conflicts and differences within the relationship arise, we will believe that we are not with the right person. We no longer feel the same way about our partner. We see the relationship as a problem and go to the fastest solution, which is to end the relationship.
When we no longer know what to do, we collapse and employ this tactic, when in reality the relationships might just need work and dedication.
Maintaining a relationship in a healthy way does not mean that it will constantly give us a feeling of complete happiness. You’ll inevitably live through difficult moments where your commitment and communication are tested. It is the only way a relationship can mature.
2. My partner should know what I want without my having to say it
This is another widely held belief that dwells in many of our minds, although it is absurd and unrealistic.
Sometimes we think that our partner has divination powers and should know what we need, what we want and expect from them, without the need to say anything about it to them. Also, if they don’t realize how we feel on their own we become angry, and so begins a long journey of conflicts that begin to undermine the relationship.
We’re slowly poisoning ourselves by not expressing our needs, and expecting that our partner is going to read our mind.
3. Sexuality should be spontaneous
The messages and images we receive through movies, books, and social media also influence our beliefs and expectations about sexual encounters within a relationship.
The romantic myth that everything must flow perfectly and happen at the right time is fairytale that has nothing to do with reality. To maintain good sexual communication, it’s necessary to exchange tastes, opinions and beliefs about it.
Healthy relationships require communication about how the sexual relationship between the two of you is evolving. To make new proposals, to innovate and and to light the flame of passion whenever possible; respecting the time and needs of the other person.
There are many situations that require couples to plan ahead to have sexual encounters; whether it’s due to fatigue, having little free time or having a family life with children.
4. Love is enough to solve relationship problems
Love is necessary, but it’s not enough to keep a relationship properly maintained; there are many other factors. The main one, without a doubt, is the mutual care of the love and the relationship.
Conflict is a natural part of a couple’s relationship, and it begins to emerge as the relationship progresses. Conflicts can be healthy, however, when tackled with respect and honesty.
There also may be relationships where there’s a lot of love, but it’s not properly cared for, and for various reasons, they inevitably end up sinking the relationship. The relationship can’t stand if it’s not equally important to both of you, and if there’s not real involvement, considering the other person as your priority.
These myths are part of our deepest beliefs about what relationships should be like, that although we have gone over them, it can be difficult to break off from them. Leaving this way of thinking and living behind requires a lot of effort, commitment and self-improvement; but you can do it.
