15 Things That Happen When You Turn 40

June 30, 2016

Turning forty makes you rethink a lot of things and ask a lot of questions. Have I lived the life I wanted to? Am I happy? Have I made my dreams reality? And maybe the answers to these questions lead you to have a mid-life crisis. This is an age to reflect, to change if you need to, to find out if you are who you want to be.

Turning forty doesn’t have to be a crisis. It’s a time to learn how to be wise, to enjoy and truly experience every second of life, to be aware that each moment is an irreplaceable treasure, and to remind yourself that you only live once. Turning forty involves facing many changes. When you reach this age, extraordinary things can happen.

You increase your self-esteem

When you turn forty, you already know what your flaws and virtues are, you’ve already accepted yourself, and you’ve already learned to value yourself. You’ve learned to love yourself, both when you make mistakes and when you prove yourself right, when you cry and when you laugh. You’re sure of yourself and you know that others can see that, making you feel in harmony with the world.

“Life contracts and expands, in direct proportion to our own courage.”

-Anaïs Nin-

girl with heart balloon

You distance yourself from toxic people

You already know how to detect people that will cause you harm, who take away your energy, who it doesn’t feel good to be around. You don’t insist on changing other people; you just accept them and keep the people who contribute positively to your life by your side.

You accept your body

You are beautiful, your flaws are attractive, and your insecurities have disappeared with the years, because we all have defects, and they’re a part of who we are. Whoever loves you and appreciates you will love you just the way you are, and they won’t try to change you. You know this, and you live in peace with your body and soul.

You reconsider whether your life is the way you want it to be

When you turn 40, you reflect on whether you’ve had the life you always wanted, and you’re aware that if it isn’t, the time has come to make all those changes that are necessary to fulfill your dreams. Now you know that change is possible, and that you can fight for what you want.

You don’t care so much about what other people think

What other people think and say doesn’t affect you anymore, because you’ve learned to value yourself and your own opinions. Other people’s criteria won’t guide your life. Instead, your own values and way of understanding things will.

You learn to let go of people who don’t love you

You’ve learned how to tell who doesn’t love you. You realize that the people who don’t come looking for you don’t love you, the people who don’t miss you don’t love you, and the people who aren’t there for you when you really need them don’t love you. And you know that if somebody doesn’t love you, you don’t want them in your life, and you let them go.

“With time, you learn the subtle difference between taking someone’s hand and chaining down their soul.”

-Jorge Luis Borges-

man walking away

You discover who your true friends are

You’ve had many different types of friends throughout your 40 years of life. Some have disappeared from your life, others are still there. Some are more recent, others you’ve known for years. And of course, now you know who’s really your friend, who’s shown you that they appreciate you in both good and bad times. They’re always by your side and giving you unconditional support.

Almost nothing embarrasses you

At forty, situations that made you feel ridiculous in the past now just make you laugh, because you have no shame anymore. You don’t care about what other people think, say, or do. If you have something irreverent to say, you say it. If you have to laugh at yourself, you laugh.

You try to make your dreams reality

You know which dreams you still haven’t fulfilled, and you know that it’s only a question of will whether you achieve them or not. So when you turn 40 you simply try to make these dreams a reality. You make a plan of action, carry it out, and little by little you see your dreams materialize.

You say what you think

You’ve learned to say what you think, to not bite your tongue, because you know if you keep quiet, it’ll make you feel bad. But you’ve also learned to say what you think politely, respectfully, and firmly. Your opinion is important, and other people should know that.

You learn to value the here and now

flowers and sun

Every moment is seen, smelled, and felt in your fingertips. You get excited over your child’s smile, the confidence of a friend, the embrace of your partner. You treasure each moment, because you now know that the here and now is what matters.

“There are souls that people want to get a glimpse of, like a window full of sun.”

-Federico García Lorca-

You know that almost every problem has a solution

If a problem has a solution, you look for it and implement it. If there is no solution, you don’t worry about it because you know that there’s nothing you can do. The word “impossible” has a different meaning for you, because life has taught you that very few things are impossible. You just have to be creative in solving your problems.

You laugh at yourself

You laugh at what you say and what you think, at the ridiculous things you sometimes do, at your quirks, and at your way of seeing things. You look best dressed in a smileSmiling is the best way to accept yourself and enjoy who you are.

You enjoy sex

couple in bed

The prejudices that you used to have about sex have disappeared. You’ve learned to enjoy your sexuality, because you now know that it’s more than just a bed: it’s a look, a kiss, a message, an instant that lasts an eternity. It’s something that you enjoy fully, in all of its nuances.

You’re aware that you’re in the best stage of your life

When you turn forty, you know that you feel wonderful, you love yourself, you laugh at your flaws, you can make your dreams reality, sex is wonderful, you can choose who you want in your life, and that ultimately, you’re in the best stage of your life.