When You Feel Anger and Don’t Know Why
It’s a kind of discomfort that manifests itself into your mood, but also in your body. You experience annoyance. It makes you hot and you can feel some heaviness in your head. Maybe you experience tension in your throat and some tightness in your chest. Anger besieges you and sometimes you do not know exactly why.
When anger arises from a particular stimulus, such as an offensive act or an unpleasant situation, it is much easier to trace a behavior than to follow it. You have the option of causing a fight, digesting what happened and letting it pass or handling the issue in a civil manner. But when anger is not directed at something or someone specifically, but rather it simply permeates throughout your entire emotional world, it is harder to keep it under control.
“Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone; it is you who gets burned.”
In principle, anger is a positive emotion, to the extent that it allows you to resist circumstances that are frustrating or threatening to you. It is simply a reaction of defense or attack, which allows a person to reassert himself or herself. But when that anger becomes deafening and constant, when it becomes a permanent irritability and makes you explode even at insignificant events, you need to check to see what’s going on.
The rage that persists and feeds into itself
We all know people who seem to be constantly angry. They look remarkably tense and worried every day, no matter if what’s going on around them is positive or negative. These people seem to be immune to what happens in their environment because they just remain angry. They are said to be like “a spark” and that with the slightest unpleasant stimulus, they unleash a fire of great proportions.
What’s happening with these people that they feel anger but don’t know why? Usually they are misguided: they believe that unleashing a conflict is an effective way to get what they want. Since it is difficult for them to tolerate and understand those that think or act differently, they get angry and complain, whether or not they are right.
For those with chronic anger, there is only one way to live, one way to feel and one way of doing things: which is what they call the “right” way. They feel they must react angrily when they “catch” someone doing something that “does not match.” They cannot stand the feeling of chaos in the world, because they themselves most likely experience an inner chaos, which can only be restrained by being “rigid.”
They also tend to be people with difficulty expressing their emotions. Often they suppress what is inside them and are only able to express it in a burst of rage. That excitement gives them the impetus to say what they had been keeping quiet. For this reason, their words are overloaded and almost always represent an exaggerated view of a situation.
A monster that ends up devouring its creator
There are times when anger orders, sets limits and avoids greater evils. It can allow us to set “the record straight” and stop any harmful circumstances.
Ideally, we would always have enough control to say everything with precision and restraint. But this is not always the case because our instinctive and emotional brain is much older than the rational. Reason can’t always prevent emotion from taking control.
But in the case of constant irritability, instead of promoting a healthy situation, it ends up attacking the wellbeing of the angry person themselves. What they want is order, “correction” or whatever they want to call it. But what they get with their cries and their complaints is the opposite: more disorder, more mistakes and fewer solutions.
Such people end up imbuing all their relationships with tension and conflict. Sooner or later, we always receive what we give. So it is very likely that the angry person will become a victim of their own wrath. Others become more demanding and intolerant with them. They will go back to being someone who annoys and who is also constantly questioned and cannot deal with it.
Very often this is accompanied by constant irritability, depression and anxiety. They become sad and frustrated when they can’t make everything work as they wish. They become anxious because of the many conflicts in which they are involved.
At the end of the day, such attitudes are just one way of wasting the best of life. It is clear that if you constantly feel anger, you end up not knowing why and this blocks you. You need more than a new purpose. What you require is some professional help.
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