My Wounds Won’t Heal

June 24, 2016

Once when I was little, I injured my arm, and the doctor told me the proper process for healing wounds. Some wounds require stitches, and others do not, but they all require care and time to heal. Sometimes, a small scar will remain, while other wounds will disappear completely.

A wound to the soul is similar to bodily wounds. It’s not visible, but we feel it in the deepest part of our being. It makes us suffer, and only time and strength of will can heal it. But like physical wounds, it can also leave scars that will remind us of what happened and how we felt.

“I remember even things I don’t wish to remember, but I cannot forget things I wish to forget.”

– Cicero –

Learning to forget negative things

We’ve all experienced painful situations that are very hard to forget. It could involve a complicated childhood, a breakup, the death of a loved one, or a situation at work that made us upset. These are all situations that wound the soul.

There are many different types of experiences that may have caused us harm or otherwise negatively affected us, but only we can manage and control the way they affect our lives.

rainy window

The first step towards forgetting is accepting. There’s no need to completely bury the memory, because remembering is human, and we can’t avoid it. But we should make an effort to accept this memory, leave it in the back of our minds, and coexist with it peacefully.

It’s not about forgetting completely, but rather preventing the painful memory from making us suffer every time it comes to mind.

“Even though we forget to forget, the memory will surely forget us.”

– Mario Benedetti –

Once we’ve accepted it, we can forgive. Not forgive others, but forgive ourselves without blaming ourselves. Knowing that the past can’t be changed, but the future can, and it’s in our hands to live the future in a different way, without being conditioned by those negative memories.

If we learn to put the things that have hurt us in the pastwe’ll also be able to appreciate that there are times when we must take responsibility. This doesn’t mean we should feel guilty, just that we should learn to see what happened objectively and learn from it.

Take control of your life

Wounds of the soul are sometimes more painful than bodily wounds, and they last a lot longer. But there comes a time when we should take a chance and be brave enough to take control of our lives, ourselves, and our emotions. 

Taking control of your life is an act that requires bravery and honesty. It means being realistic and seeing that if something in your life isn’t going well or the way you want it to, the only person you can depend on is yourself. You can’t depend on people or situations to change.

The things that happen in your life every day depend on your attitude, what you do and don’t do, your smile, your happiness, and your strength of will.

“Remembering a good time is being happy again.”

– Gabriela Mistral –

Let time pass

It’s true that time heals everything, or at least it gives us a different perspective. Although not everyone needs the same amount of time to get rid of or mitigate the effects of painful memories.

clock disappearing

Everyone is different, and we all need different amounts of time to process the pain surrounding difficult memories or situations that have hurt us. 

A breakup with someone you really loved is difficult to forget and accept, but with time, little by little, you’ll realize that maybe it was something that needed to happen so that someone else could come into your life, or so that you could learn to enjoy being single.

This situation is just an example, but it lets us see how the slow passage of time can slowly heal our wounds until one day, without us even realizing, they disappear.