Women Who Are Whole Don't Need Love to Be Happy

Women Who Are Whole Don't Need Love to Be Happy
Raquel Aldana

Written and verified by the psychologist Raquel Aldana.

Last update: 14 December, 2021

Women who are whole are tired of hearing that they have to find their better half. That if they don’t they’re going to turn into crazy cat ladies or nuns. No, no, no. A woman doesn’t need a partner in order to be a valid and complete person.

As Helen Fisher said, “bonding is human, it’s an impulse that arose 4 million years ago.” However, you don’t need anybody else to be complete. By believing that we are incomplete, we force ourselves to fit in, to jump through hoops, to be content with just a few drops of happiness.

We can share our life with someone we love. Not by necessity but rather by choice. But the art of coexisting is even more complicated than the art of falling in love…

Survival tips

You don’t need anyone.

But love.

Love a lot.

Love beyond your possibilities.


To be happy with somebody else, first you have to happy with yourself

To love is not to possess. To love is to respect. And we must come first in our own lives. If we don’t give ourselves the place we deserve, we won’t be capable of enjoying and handling our relationships with maturity.

In this sense, maturity helps us choose better partners and enables us to maintain constructive relationships.

That is to say, we should aspire to be happy by ourselves and not thanks to the person that we’re with. A relationship should be a very important parcel of our lives, but never a condition.

The complicated selection of the “ideal” partner 

Whether a relationship will work out or not is something we can evaluate at first. We may come to realize that more important than physical attraction or any other characteristic are shared values and priorities.

I’m sorry to say, it’s impossible to say exactly why some couples work out and others don’t. However, we can determine which factors guarantee a good balance within a relationship. Let’s look into them:

Sexual coupling is crucial

Both partners need to be in agreement about the way they want to experience their sexuality. In order to do this we need to respect some basic aspects:

  • Do whatever you want
  • Don’t do anything you don’t want to do
  • Whatever you do, always act based on previous desire
  • Act according to your own scale of sexual values
  • Keep in mind that you each have your own sexual pleasure schemes
girl covered in vines

Compatible personalities

A person’s character is their conscious self-regulating behavior. It’s the way through which they express their personality to the world. We must value our partner’s character. We don’t have to like every single thing about them, but on the whole we enjoy their personality. 

Scale of values

Sharing or at least respecting each others ideals, religious beliefs, cultural habits, hygiene, leisure style and other aspects is the third part of achieving balance within a couple. There are no “but”s in respect.

Life projects

The fourth part of finding stability in a couple is that besides supporting each other firmly in the present, you must be positively oriented towards the future.

mother and daughter by seaside

How to turn emotional failures into personal growth

To turn a sentimental goodbye into a lesson, we must know that analyzing the causes that provoked it and extracting a lesson from it will allow us to grow in future relationships. 

If we’re able to draw out the positive and not over-analyze a romantic failure, we’ll be able to gain new and wonderful hope.

We should choose to get close to people that we feel relaxed with, with which we can be ourselves, that don’t coerce us. Likewise, the right person will make us feel like we’ve made the best choice.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.