When Solitude Defines Me

· May 19, 2016

Sometimes we choose to be alone, and other times we do not get a choice. There are many people who fear solitude, the feeling of emptiness that it brings with it, the time that we have for ourselves.

Solitude is not negative, as long as it does not make you feel bad and you can take advantage of it to get to know yourself better. But what happens when it is solitude that defines me? I choose solitude and it makes me happy, is this possible?

“Sometimes I rest my head upon the moon’s shoulder and I tell her about that unfortunate lover that is called solitude”

-Joaquín Sabina-

We have a natural tendency to need the company of others. To have relationships, to leave the house, to know other people: these are characteristics that define us. For most of us, a lack of company can make us  fall into anguish and depression.

But there are people whose solitude defines them, who are happy living with the choice to be alone, and who do not fear anything as a result of this. Are you one of them?

I choose to be alone

There are two types of solitude that are very different from one another. The first is isolating oneself from other people, and the second is feeling alone. We choose one, but not the other.

In this case, we are not speaking about the negative solitude that upsets us, that makes us feel like something is missing in our lives. This solitude that we are talking about is the solitude that fills you, a positive solitude for you, one that does not hurt you because it is totally welcome and accepted. It is your choice.


Woman Behind Glass

When I choose to be alone, I do not feel alone. I live in a positive and constructive reality in which I can reflect, know myself better, and enjoy what I desire.

People who know how to live a fulfilled life in solitude are often more creative and they also read more. Why does this happen? Because both reading as well as creativity are activities that require concentration and peace.

“Travel can be one of the most rewarding forms of introspection”

-Lawrence Durrell-

We call this introspection, when a person is capable of being in a healthy state of solitude, when they are capable of looking at themselves and knowing perfectly who they are looking at.

Introspection helps us to know ourselves and this is very beneficial. Getting to know ourselves helps us in our relationships, and to understand how we will act when facing certain situations. Learning more about ourselves is always positive.

Solitude as something positive

According to several studies, solitary people tend to have more anxiety, social phobia, depression, fear, and various negative feelings that constantly surround them.

In one study published in the Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, it was even claimed that solitude was an emotional problem that affected a large part of the population and that triggered serious health problems.

Woman Waving Handkerchief

Within this context, the word “solitude” implies something negative. But we must break with that stereotype, for not all solitude is negative.

Here are a few positive features of people who chooses a more solitary life:

  • They have great intuition.
  • They are not afraid of being alone, which is why they do not have dependency problems.
  • They are very creative.
  • They know themselves extremely well.
  • They are skilled observers.
  • They have good friends, but they can probably only count them on one hand.

Contrary to what you may think, solitary people have friends, but maybe not quite as many as others. This happens because they lend great importance to the word “friendship” and they know that this label should not be given to just anybody.

Also, they are very adventurous people who like to discover new places. There is rarely anything that surprises them, for they tend to see everything through a magnifying glass.

Let us get rid of the conception that solitude is something bad. If you’ve chosen it and you feel good about it, go ahead! Focus on your good intuition, creativity, and the observation skills that you likely have.

Are you a solitary person? Maybe you have often felt like a “weirdo,” but in fact, there are many people like you who enjoy their solitude. Never feel bad about enjoying your solitude.