What's Tantric Sex? How to Practice Tantra's Intimate Form of Sex

Did you know that tantric sex originated from ancient Hinduism? It revolves around sexual practices that focus on creating a deep, intimate connection. Intrigued? Read on to learn more.

Written and verified by the psychologist Laura Ruiz Mitjana.

Last update: 14 June, 2023

Did you know tantric sex originated from ancient Hinduism ? In fact, tantra revolves around sexual practices focusing on creating an intimate, deep connection with your partner. During tantric sex, the goal is to be present in the moment to achieve a sensual and fulfilling sexual experience.

Since the concept of tantric sex comes from Hinduism, tantra obviously stems loosely from religious texts that focus on spiritualism. Tantric sex is a slow, meditative form of sex where the end goal isn’t orgasm but enjoying the sexual journey and sensations of the body. It aims to move sexual energy throughout the body for healing, transformation, and enlightenment.

This path is simple but profound. It’s about wholeheartedly celebrating the sacredness of our bodies and desires while bringing a quality of mindful awareness to the shared expression of pleasure. It can help you release shame, trauma, and blocks around sex, unleashing the transformative power of your erotic energy and leading you to some of the most soul-shattering orgasms ever. 

Through this holistic approach, sensuality also becomes a doorway to beingness, to the divine, and to a more intimate experience of the present moment. Likewise, tantric sex proponents believe that tantric techniques help resolve sexual complications like premature ejaculation , erectile dysfunction, or anorgasmia.

This article explores what tantric sex is, how to practice it, and its numerous advantages. It also discusses the processes of getting to know one’s body and one’s partner’s body, how to prepare, and successfully building the moment. Lastly, it also covers clever tips and tricks from tantra experts. 

What exactly is tantra?

Although often synonymous with sex, tantra is really about connection, whether that’s with yourself or between you and a partner. After all, the word itself derives from the ancient Sanskrit meaning “web” or “to weave energy”. In practice, tantra is about enlightenment. It involves transcending both the sexual and spiritual planes, engaging in deeply meditative, spontaneous, and intimate sex.

It’s also about getting to know your body. Like yoga, tantra is all about physical and spiritual awareness. When you learn and practice tantra, you become more in-tune with your body. Most importantly, it gives it pleasure and the way it feels pleasure. This allows you to pay better attention to your body’s wants and needs and make sure they’re fulfilled.

Plus, the energies you channel during tantric sex flow throughout your body and can intensify your orgasm . Thus, if you have a partner, tantra is about getting to know their body, too. Tantra isn’t only focused on reaching a higher state of mind-body consciousness. It’s also about creating a deeper, more harmonious bond with your partner.

In other words, when you practice tantra, you and your partner learn to be physically aware and spiritually present. You feed each other energy that continues to grow well after you’ve finished having sex. Likewise, tantra also allows you both to explore and expand all aspects of your personality. Thus, you begin to truly know the other person inside and out. 

The benefits of tantric sex

There are many myths about tantra that can make people feel like it’s not for them. However, many people practice and teach tantra. After all, this Hindu practice drives the power and truth locked up in their sexuality. When people align with their thanks to tantra, they thrive. For example, their sexual “life force” energy fully activates, while fully connecting with their hearts and spirits.

Not only do they thrive, but they’re also much more unstoppable. Therefore, more inspirational versions of themselves actualize their purpose in the world. Check out tantra’s benefits:

• Getting more of what you want in sex.
• Releasing sexual blocks and shame.
• Finding healing from sexual trauma.
• Awakening your sexual energy to flow freely within your body.
• Accessing your fullest pleasure and desire.
• Tuning into subtle energy.
• Discovering full-body and/or multiple orgasms.
• Delaying orgasm.
• Experiencing a new level of heart connection with your partner, a profound sense of intimacy, and a loving presence.
• Longer lovemaking sessions, relaxation, and quality of spaciousness.
• Enhanced communication and communion.
• Holistic mind-body-spirit connection with yourself and with your partner.

How to build the moment with a partner

Remember that tantric sex extends beyond sex. Therefore, you can work up to that or choose not to go there at all. You and your partner can implement tantric principles into other practices that can build up the moment.

Foreplay

Foreplay can be anything you want it to be. For example, oral sex, a massage, or taking a shower together. But whatever you do, ensure both of you are fully present. Sit in front of your partner and look into each other’s eyes. Next, start to move your bodies slightly as you breathe.

After five minutes, start to touch each other sensually, taking turns massaging each other’s arms, legs, neck, and other parts. After another five minutes, begin to kiss, only kiss. Focus on every physical sensation you’re feeling in the moment.

Sex is optional

You can build up to sex… or not! In other words, tantric sex is more about connection than anything else. So, if you choose to have sex, go slowly. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to be creative. Try new positions and touch each other in new ways.

For example, you can explore unearthed desires. But most of all, immerse yourself fully in the experience, letting the tension build as you spend time on one sensual practice before moving on to the next.

Lay together or cuddle

Laying with your partner lets you exchange and weave energies, nurturing a deeper connection. To do this, consider a spooning position. The partner in the back will send energy, while the partner in front absorbs it. Next, snuggle close together, with your heart and stomachs aligned. 

The giver should have their arms wrapped around the receiver, with their hand over the receiver’s heart. The receiver should rest their hand on top. Lay still for a few moments. Lastly, harmonize your breath, letting the energy flow freely between you.

General tips and tricks

Tantric sex isn’t one-size-fits-all. There are a few things you can do to enhance your practice to make it a satisfying and unique experience:

• Being naked is optional. You can start clothed and stay clothed or remove every inch of fabric. The key is to do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Whether that means being naked or not is up to you.
• Synchronize your breathing. Deep breathing is a vital part of tantra. By focusing on your breath, you allow yourself to be present at the moment, immersing yourself in the experience. Your breath is central to any tantric practice. It lets you free your mind, connect with your body, feeling every sensation more fully. 
• Engage all of your senses. Light some scented candles. Play some soft, sensual music. Touch yourself or your partner slowly. Stare into each other’s eyes. Savor the taste of your partner’s kisses. Engaging all of your senses during your tantra practice will help you feel every pleasurable sensation more fully.
• Go slow. An important part of tantra is learning to feel and experience everything more deeply. And the way to do that is to go slow. Don’t rush tantra. Instead, relax your mind and enjoy every second of the practice.
• Explore all of your or your partner’s body. Stroke your hands slowly over your or your partner’s body. Let them use their tongue to explore your mouth while you kiss. Or gently glide their lips up and down your chest. Do the same to them.
• Experiment. Kink and BDSM, for example, often incorporate tantric principles. When you practice tantra, you don’t have to stick to tradition. Think outside of the box. And if that means using a box, have fun with it.
• You don’t have to go full tantra. You can add elements into what you’re already doing in the bedroom, either by yourself or with your partner. That could mean incorporating meditation into foreplay or focusing more on deep breathing during a solo session.

Last thoughts

As we mentioned above, tantric sex is a meditation, a sexual practice encouraging people to focus on mind-body connections. When preparing alone or with a partner, it’s vital to find a comfortable environment. This can help people focus fully on the experience. Likewise, breathing helps a person focus their mind and be in tune with one’s body. D o you want to learn more? When it comes to learning more about tantra, there isn’t a shortage of places to turn to.

For example, Sofia Sundari and Layla Martin are two highly-regarded tantra teachers who also host websites offering tips and techniques to better tantric practice.  Martin also created and founded the Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality, which offers different tantra programs for women, men, and couples. Lastly, other sites, like Embody Tantra and Tantra is Love, are also excellent resources for getting started in your practice.