What Should You Do When Someone Ignores You?
Being ignored is probably one of the most uncomfortable situations you can go through. Indeed, feeling excluded, belittled, or not having your feelings taken into account is really unpleasant.
These kinds of experiences can make you suffer. Furthermore, you may not know how to act. Therefore, you need to have tools to allow you to face what’s happening, protect your self-esteem, and strengthen your relationships with others.
Here’s what you should do when someone ignores you.
Are they really ignoring you?
Firstly, you need to stop and ask yourself if you’re really being ignored or if you just feel as if you are. Why? Because sometimes, you can misperceive what’s happening around you.
You need to work out if you’re not really participating or are even blocking yourself out from certain situations. Indeed, before going any further, you must first rule out this eventuality. Also, keep in mind that when someone ignores you, that isn’t a sign that there’s something wrong with you. As Sonya Parker says, “If they don’t want to talk to you they’re wrong for you”.
How to act when someone ignores you
Feeling ignored by others is extremely unpleasant and can lead to feelings of sadness, anguish, and rejection. However, there are some things you can do to stop yourself from feeling overwhelmed.
1. Be honest
The first thing to do is be honest. This not only refers to expressing how you feel to others, but to being honest with yourself and admitting that you feel bad about the rejection, regardless of whether it’s real or just perceived.
It’s also important that you think about whether you feel ignored frequently or only on certain occasions. This will serve as a guide in helping you understand if it’s something that you’re perceiving in the wrong way.
2. Analyze what you feel
Another idea that can help you is to analyze what you feel. In fact, why you feel bad about being ignored can give you a lot more information about yourself.
Perhaps it’s time to ask yourself if you aren’t exaggerating a little. Or, if it’s possible that you’re demanding too much attention from others.
It’s also important to bear in mind that not everything is personal. Indeed, it’s possible that other people are busy, distracted, or have other matters on their minds that are worrying them.
3. Strengthen your self-esteem
Your self-esteem plays a fundamental role when you feel that you’re being ignored. You’ll discover that others often aren’t really rejecting you, but you’re perceiving it in that way due to your own needs.
Recognizing your own qualities allows you to get a broader picture of what’s happening to you and to understand how you’re feeling and the way to act.
4. Assertive communication
Communication is key when you think you’re being ignored. It’ll prevent the situation from repeating itself and causing you discomfort.
However, it doesn’t just mean speaking. It’s also important that you do so assertively. Therefore, you should avoid speaking with a demanding tone and should try and be extremely tactful about the situation. Nevertheless, always be sincere.
5. Kindness matters
On many occasions, when you’re ignored, you tend to withdraw. This only makes others ignore you even more. Therefore, having a polite word with them is wise if you’re looking to avoid this kind of situation.
Empathy is also important. Because if you’re polite, it’s unlikely that you’ll be ignored. Remember what Shakespeare said: “Thou rather shalt enforce it with thy smile. Than hew to ‘t with thy sword”.
6. Evaluate the different points of view
Sometimes, others aren’t ignoring you intentionally. In fact, there are many factors that have an influence on daily life and it’s possible that they’re simply busy with something else or they’re distracted thinking about other things.
Knowing what to do when someone ignores you requires you to understand that they aren’t necessarily excluding you on purpose.
Again, empathy and assertive communication are key. This should ensure that you don’t get ignored and, if you do, you’ll know how to act without being negatively affected. It’s also important that you look inside yourself. This will help you get to know yourself better and learn about yourself.
Finally, always keep these words in mind:
“If you’re being ignored, that’s a good time to concentrate on finding yourself and creating your own mystery.”
-Lykke Li-
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Corrales, A.; Quijano N.; Góngora E. (2017). Empatía, comunicación asertiva y seguimiento de normas. Un programa para desarrollar habilidades para la vida. Consejo Nacional para la Enseñanza en Investigación en Psicología A.C. Xalapa, México Universidad Autónoma de Yucatán.
- Herbert. F. y Jean, B. (2003). No diga sí cuando quiera decir no. Ediciones Grijalbo.
- Lizaraso Caparó, Frank (2012). Empatía y su impacto en la salud. Horizonte Médico, 12 (4), 4-5. [Fecha de Consulta 17 de Diciembre de 2021]. ISSN: 1727-558X. Disponible en: https://www.redalyc.org/articulo.oa?id=371637127001