We Have To Let Go Of Those Who Were Never There

· March 7, 2017

A person doesn’t necessarily have to leave in order not to be there. There are many ways to be late, or not to show up in someone’s life. So we have to think about putting an end to our excuses for why we are staying and just let go. But a real GOODBYE, the kind written in all capital letters, thereby closing all the holes through which that person could try to come back in. A door under lock and key.

In other words, instead of letting go, what we have to learn to do is leave ourselves when we are experiencing a situation that wears away at us and which has no solution.

When you are able to detach yourself from something that has been imprisoning you for a long time, you will manage to clear your mind and dispense with the absences that you did not understand and that kept your life hanging on a string.

Woman on Seaside

Growing is learning to say goodbye

Managing to say goodbye to someone who was never there means not going back, separating what enriches us from what wears away at us, taking care of our own worth, and no longer groveling, begging for crumbs of a love that only exists in our minds.

When there is no reciprocity or the balance is leaning towards pain, the relationship loses all meaning and as such, the only thing that we get is to agonize, waiting for a stamp of approval saying that the end has come.

When we let go, we will realize that giving way and letting go means freeing ourselves, growing, and creating a new life. That new atmosphere will encourage us so that we may sow new emotions in soil that until now had been infertile.


One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.
Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

We cannot be in this longing for the past. Not even asking why. What happened, happened, and you have to drop it, to discard it. We cannot be eternal children or late adolescents or nonexistent employees of companies or have links with those who refuse to be linked to us.

Events happen and we have to let them go!

Paulo Coelho

Jar of Butterflies

Thinking that someone is always going to be there is a serious mistake

There are times when people disappear from our lives for a while, thinking that they can come back whenever they please, for they are sure that we will always be here. But that is not how it is. We all deserve respect and these absences come at a high price.

Blind love is not a sufficient guarantee that a relationship will prosper. This is why we sometimes have to take two periods away from stories ending in an ellipsis and leave it with one final period. This is what our emotional well being depends upon.

It is hard to face a decisive goodbye with the certainty that we are going to have to fight to heal the wound from this abandonment. In the process, we fear for our self-esteem, our self-trust, and our well being.

Woman in Flower Field with Heart

But growth implies a certain disorientation that can cause us anguish. We have to be aware that we are going to have to go along part of the path holding onto the hand of uncertainty.

This is not comfortable, but it is worth the trouble, keeping in mind that this exchange will yield as a result the reconstruction of ourselves and harmony with our inner self. It is a matter of being honest and demanding in our emotional company. It is not always easy, but necessary things generally are not.

Breaking loose from everything that comes with egotism, self-interest, and unjustified absences will help us start a new stage in our lives, to sow and reap nourishment for our self-esteem, and to grow emotionally.