The Truth About Possessiveness and Love

January 11, 2017

Possessiveness is closely linked to jealousy, which is in charge of destroying relationships, but is also a slowly self-destructive feeling. It’s related with fear, mistrust and insecurity felt by the individual.

It is necessary to distinguish between love and possession, because in love there’s trust, willingness to share, comfort and space for each individual that makes up the couple. In possessiveness, there’s jealousy, selfishness and distrust on behalf of the possessive and there’s no freedom or tranquility for the other party. It’s a relationship that leads to total destruction.

What triggers possessiveness?

Possessive people have backgrounds ranging from loneliness to discrimination during childhood, to having a low self-esteem. Sometimes it can even be a genetic trait that’s inherited.

It’s important to note that regardless of the cause or antecedent, possessive people suffer passion and anger attacks over their partners. These negative emotions are painful for both partners, and inconsistent with trust and love.

Symptoms of possessiveness

Possessiveness isn’t just about trying to dominate the other person, but about seeing them as a suspect, when in reality they haven’t done anything. Everything appears in somewhat of a chain reaction, where possession and domination of others is greater every day.

The possessive person feels the need to spy on their partner, check their luggage and look for signs of infidelity in their marriage. In short, they constantly suspect of their partner and don’t let them rest in peace. On other occasions, they even come to the point of following their partner to work and spying on them to find out if they’re having an affair.

Destroying a relationship

Initially, possessiveness is interpreted as a sign of love, but when it becomes a persistent and negative trait, you begin to see cracks in the relationship.

Every relationship, regardless of how deep and intense it is, allows space and freedom for both partners, but in a couple where there is a possessive, this leads to destruction of the relationshipThe possessive person wants to take over everything, and causes disruption in the life of both partners, making it impossible for someone without freedom or tranquility to enjoy such an overwhelming relationship.  It’s a relationship that’s doomed to failure.

How to control possessiveness

When looking to control possessiveness, deep breathing and meditation are great because they help to achieve higher levels of mental concentration.

This helps the person abandon their possessiveness, and hypnosis leads to self-control and to being guided by reason, which helps them avoid exercising possessiveness over their loved ones.

Image courtesy of Toni Blay