Tips for Building a Healthy Self-Esteem

• Low self-esteem: When a person has a negative and devalued opinion of themself, they feel incompetent, unworthy, or worthless. This leads to feelings of inferiority, insecurity, and difficulties in accepting and valuing oneself.
• Inflated self-esteem: You have an exaggeratedly positive opinion of yourself. They’re arrogant, narcissistic people who seek constant appreciation and admiration from others. This self-esteem can be fragile and dependent on external approval, leading to inconveniences in dealing with criticism or failure.
• Comparative self-esteem: This involves constantly comparing yourself with others and valuing yourself based on how you perceive yourself in regard to others. You always end up feeling inferior or superior to others, which leads to envy, resentment, or a frequent search for external validation.
• Conditioned self-esteem: This is based on achievements such as professional success, physical appearance, or the approval of others. These people feel good about themselves only when they meet certain standards, which can generate a feeling of constant dissatisfaction and difficulties in maintaining a stable and solid self-esteem.

The difference between building a healthy self-esteem and increasing your self-esteem

The approach and process involved make the difference between building a healthy self-esteem and increasing your self-esteem. When building self-esteem, you work on developing a solid and balanced foundation from scratch or from a low point.

It’s a deeper process that involves addressing limiting beliefs, learning to accept and value yourself, and cultivating a positive attitude toward yourself. Building a healthy self-esteem requires internal work and changes in personal perception and valuation.

For its part, increasing self-esteem refers to raising or strengthening existing self-esteem, but which may be affected by external or internal factors. The objective is to improve and reinforce confidence and self-esteem.

Increasing self-esteem leads to focusing on the recognition of achievements, fostering resilience, seeking personal improvement, and strengthening one’s own abilities and talents.

Both building and increasing self-esteem are relevant processes and can complement each other depending on individual needs and circumstances.

How do I know if I’m building a healthy self-esteem?

Building a healthy self-esteem is a subjective process, but there are signs and positive changes that you can observe. Some ways to assess your progress are listed below:

• Greater satisfaction and well-being: You feel happier with yourself and experience inner peace.
• General feeling of worth: You begin to feel more valued and worthy in general, without depending too much on external approval.
• Confidence in yourself: You begin to have more confidence in your skills and abilities, you feel confident when facing challenges, and you believe in your ability to overcome obstacles.
• Acceptance of your imperfections: You become more compassionate with yourself and you recognize that we’re all human beings in a constant process of growth and learning.
• Less self-criticism: You reduce negative internal dialogue. You speak to yourself with kindness and compassion, acknowledging your achievements and efforts rather than focusing only on your failures.
• Resilience: You learn to handle failure and mistakes constructively. You’re not easily discouraged and you see yourself as a person who’s capable of learning and growing through challenges.
• Healthy Boundaries: You set healthy boundaries in your relationships and in the way you treat yourself. You’re aware of your needs and make sure to meet them without neglecting yourself or allowing others to treat you disrespectfully.

When is it advisable to seek professional support to address self-esteem issues?

It’s advisable to seek professional attention when low self-esteem significantly affects your quality of life and emotional well-being. You can sense it if feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness prevail, you have an inability to set limits, and negative and self-critical thought patterns persist.

Other signs that it’s time to request support from a specialist are difficulties in accepting and valuing oneself, problematic interpersonal relationships, and anxiety or depression resulting from the above aspects.

A psychologist helps explore and address underlying self-esteem issues and provides strategies for developing it in a healthy way, as well as working on emotional management. If previous attempts to improve self-esteem on your own aren’t effective or if the emotional challenges become overwhelming, don’t hesitate to go to the specialist.