The Things We Can Only Learn with Time

May 11, 2016

Falling isn’t a bad thing, becoming friends with the rock is. Either way, it’s a good thing rocks exist, because there is nothing that defines us as well as our ability to overcome difficulties.

We deal with life slowly and by taking deep breaths, asking for more and counting to three. No matter how hard things get, we’re able to turn our fears into a bravery shield.

That’s when you decide to catch your breath, give yourself time, give yourself a breather. It doesn’t matter how black your past has become, you can always stop and take perspective.

What we learn with time…

Life is such a good teacher that if we don’t learn the lesson the first time, we’ll surely get an opportunity to repeat it. Because of this, a lot of times we have to deal with the desperation and frustration that nothing is going well. There are no survival manuals but we learn to live when the fire touches our skin.

person balancing on string

With time we learn how to get by in life, know where to step and take perspective. Jorge Luis Borges left us this beautiful text that exemplifies everything we learn by “practicing” living, meaning falling and getting up a thousand times:

With time, I learned the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. With time I learned that love doesn’t mean leaning on someone and that company doesn’t mean security.

With time, I began to learn that kisses aren’t contracts, and presents aren’t promises. 

With time I learned that being with someone because they offer you a good future means that sooner or later you will want to return to your past. With time you realize that getting married because “it’s time” is a clear warning that your marriage will be a failure.

With time I understood that only he who is capable of loving you with your flaws, with no intention of changing you, can give you all the happiness that you desire.

face silhouette tree bird and stars

With time you realize that if you’re with a person only to accompany your solitudeirremediably you’ll end up wishing to not see them again.

With time you realize that true friends are worth much more than any amount of money. With time I understood that true friends can be counted on one hand, and those that don’t fight for them sooner or later will find themselves surrounded with false friendships. 

With time I learned that words spoken in a moment of rage can keep hurting someone for the rest of their lives. With time I learned that anyone can apologize, but only great souls can forgive…

With time I understood that if you have hurt a friend terribly, the friendship will probably never be the same. With time you realize that even if you’re happy with your friends, one day you will cry for for those that you let go. With time you realize that every experience lived with every person is unrepeatable.

With time you realize that those that humiliate or scorn another human being sooner or later will suffer the same humiliation or scorns twice over.

With time I learned that you should build all your paths today, because tomorrow’s terrain is too uncertain to plan on.

With time I understood that rushing things or forcing them to happen in the end will make them not what you were hoping for.

girl with bun and two mugs

With time you realize that the best was really not the future but the time you were living right at that moment.

With time you will see that even though you are happy with those beside you, you will long terribly for those that were with you yesterday and are now gone.

With time I learned that attempting to forgive or apologize, saying you love someone, miss someone, need someone, want to be someone’s friend…. to a grave… no longer makes any sense…

But unfortunately…we only understand this with time.

We mature more with mistakes than with years

Time helps us understand that our failures give us reason to stand tall and feel proud of ourselves. With mistakes we learn to resist that which binds us, to fight against the strength of our prejudice, to put aside our desires to give up, to abandon complaining, to talk to ourselves, to understand envy, to get rid of fads and to rest.

When you fall and when you suffer you realize that everything comes, everything goes, and everything transforms. And as paradoxical as it turns out, the moment in which we begin to change coincides with the moment in which we begin to accept ourselves just as we are.