Surround Yourself with Interesting People

Surround Yourself with Interesting People
Valeria Sabater

Written and verified by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 21 February, 2022

It is often said that interesting people are few and far between, like diamonds that are so pure that they blind you after just one look. We do not have to go so far or exaggerate so much. We are sure that you, too, count on a few sidekicks in your adventures. Companions for unforgettable moments and loyal architects for positive emotions. The kind that makes us grow on the inside and laugh on the outside.

In life, you’ll come across skillful builders of the most selfish interests as well as people with humble hearts and curious minds. We must defend ourselves from the former and learn each and every day from the latter.

All of us have our dark side and our virtues. And all of us are without a doubt interesting in our own way. That being said, between being interesting and being self-interested lies an entire ocean of storms and churning seas.

How many times have you had to deal with self-interested people in your daily life? It’s important to learn how to manage the emotions that they create in us, to establish limits, to point things out, to live in peace, and to know how to say, “enough.”

The interesting people who teach me to be better

Girls Laughing Together in Flowers

Life should be a continuous exchange of feelings, knowledge, and experiences, where we would all gain, where we would all come together, and nobody would be left alone. However, it cannot always be like this.

Interesting people blind us with their originality, with their authentic, captivating being. They interest us because they know how to welcome, respect, and allow for the establishment of an adequate exchange of feelings and emotions.

With interesting people, there is an instant connection without us quite knowing why. They show up in our lives and we feel an almost immediate connection whether it’s based around ideas, passions, or hobbies. Our worlds collide and we both win. In broader terms, we could define them in the following way:

  • Interesting people add their pieces to the puzzle of our values and passions.
  • They expand our minds, they bring us greater knowledge, they bring our point of view into perspective, and they enrich us.
  • The exchange is not just unilateral; the benefit is mutual. We also bring something to their lives, offer, receive, and establish a continuous learning process through our experiences, ones that strengthen the friendship or relationship even more.

It is not easy to find one or several people that perfectly embody our lines of thought, passions, and interests. In fact, interesting people, instead of “embodying” these things, often challenge us, bring us new things, and in addition to this, growth.

All of us need that magic that from time to time touches us inside, and that makes us leave the path our lives are taking to explore new areas of knowledge. They are very stimulating personalities, but also ones with whom we share some of the same values. It’s in that combination that we find the subtle balance that makes the relationship so positive.

Girls in Bamboo Field

How to treat self-interested people

Every day, we live alongside self-interested people, and obviously, it is not always easy nor do we want to put an end to that relationship. Maybe they are our parents who always end up honing that implicit selfishness, or that coworker who always manipulates you with their subtle interests…

We cannot flee from self-interested people; we have to face them, establishing limits and defending our personal territory, because every self-interested person is essentially made up of selfishness, and this single virtue will be the one that demands that others live and “dance” like they want them to.

Anyone who is used to always looking for the benefits for them in a relationship runs the risk of ending up living absolutely alone. And while it may be true that for reasons of inner balance and even health, we have to surround ourselves with interesting people instead of self-interested ones, it often is very difficult to escape from the latter. What can we do? How are we supposed to treat them?

  • Do not give in to the small actions or the larger surrenders will end up coming.
  • Never say yes to something that you do not want to do, no matter how small and insignificant it is. By doing it, by saying, “no,” it is common for the other person to feel estranged or even offended. However, we have to make it clear from the very start what our limits are.
  • It is common for self-interested people to end up trying their hand at emotional blackmail. “If you do not do this, it is because you do not love me.” Do not let this happen; emotional blackmail is a type of implicit mistreatment and as such, you have to make the other person see this. “If you really loved me, you would not ask me to do that.”
  • Be aware of every word and every action. Self-interested people tend to be very subtle in their actions, which is why there is a need to leave things unresolved so that you are not carried away by their will, by their masked selfishness that sometimes comes “wrapped up like a present.”
Girl Sniffing Flowers

Remember that the best things in life are not things, but moments. Those that you share with people who enrich you, interesting people who do not infringe upon your emotions or your being, but who enrich you so that you can be greater and fly higher.

Images courtesy of Jiwoon Pak, Yimin Yoon

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.