Sometimes I Like Having Someone Tell Me Everything Will Be Okay

February 14, 2020

To promise me there’s not much to worry about. Wanting this isn’t a weakness. It’s the courage of a person who has the benefit of good support and comfort when they need it. 

Antoine de Saint-Exupery said very wisely that failure fortifies strong people. There’s one simple reason: for a person to get a strong enough heart and lay the foundations for courage, first they need to have fallen.

First they need to to personally experience the wound of disappointment, the emptiness of loss, the scar of mistakes.

Everything will be okay in the end, and if it isn’t yet…that’s because the end is yet to come.

Since this type of person is a super fast learner in the secrete craft of repairing these wounds, only them, the strong people, understand what it means to occasionally hear an encouraging word and a friendly hand offering to help them up.

In a world full of turned backs, support is wonderful. In a tough time, even the biggest heroes and brightest heroines have the benefit of someone telling them everything will be okay…because if we live on anything, it’s faith.

A Secret Need: Emotional Hunger

Back in 1920, Edward Thorndike understood emotional intelligence as an “ability to understand and manage men and women,  boys and girls — to act wisely in human relations.”

And he also said that if there is one dimension that tends to characterize human beings, it’s “emotional hunger.” 

There are times when we all need more support than we receive. Sometimes we some recognition and even tangible affection.

But like self-help books say, we need to  learn how to “self-provide.” That is, we should put in place appropriate strategies for having positive self-love, resistant self-esteem, and a strong personality we can use to make it through any adversity with flying colors.

Although this is all good and positive, there’s one small thing we need to keep very clear. 

A person who invests in their personal growth and psychological strength shouldn’t fall into the extreme of such aggressive “self-providing,” where they don’t need anything from anyone.

Because sometimes, someone who needs nothing doesn’t offer anything either. Without even realizing it, they may end up practicing true emotional materialism. 

The key is balance, and understanding that a strong person isn’t immune to pain. They feel just like anyone else. Strong people are the ones who at one point allowed themselves to be weak. And on the inside there’s still some pain.

That’s why they, more than anyone, shouldn’t just give support, but also allow themselves to receive it. Those warm words and open arms can help heal their lingering wounds.

everything will be ok

Everything Will Be Okay, Trust Me

At some point in our lives we all need someone to take us by the hand and tell us everything will be okay. There are times like that when we just don’t have the self-confidence. Sometimes even our self-esteem won’t guarantee success or a positive outcome.

There are times when nothing is more cathartic than sharing our burdens, lightening the load of our fears and worries. 

We know, for example, that doctors who take their patients’s hands and offer them positive, warm, and inspiring words reduce fear and anxiety in sick people.

Few painkillers are as comforting as a parent soothing their children’s uncertainties, inviting them to trust them, telling them everything will be okay.

There are times, and this happens to all of us, when our brains cloud up. Because negative thoughts have the bad habit of sticking around.

When this happens, when the horsemen of fear gallop freely, we’re not always able to think clearly. It’s hard to see that failure and disappointment isn’t the end of the world.

a woman looking down with her hand to her head

That’s when a friendly hand, a clear mind, and open heart can work miracles. Because we can’t walk every healing path alone, even if we’ve learned to self-provide. No one is exempt from darkness, mistakes, and weakness.

For someone to tell us everything will be okay, it helps. For them to remind us that everything in life comes and goes, it soothes. To take our hand and promise us they’ll be there no matter what, it fills us with peace.

So let’s learn how to accept help, to humble ourselves and receive what others freely give us. Above all else, let’s also offer other people our best.