Sex Toys for Couples: What You Should Know
Enjoying sex toys as a couple can be a great boost to the well-being of your relationship. Not only do they allow you to enrich intimate moments with your loved one, but they also act as fun mechanisms to get to know each other better, boost self-esteem, and avoid feelings of shame.
On the other hand, although it’s true that the taboo around the use of such devices is dissolving more and more, certain prejudices still remain. There are many people who hide them in the back of their closets and under various pieces of clothing.
Either individually or with a partner, normalizing the use of these is a social advance and a way to strengthen sexual-affective ties. In the following article, we’ll give you all the information you need on this subject.
“Sex is a doorway to something so powerful and mystical, but movies usually depict it in a completely flat way.”
This is what you need to know about sex toys for couples
Surely you’ve heard some negative or humorous comments about this type of object. The most common has to do with clitoral suckers and the idea that women no longer need anyone to feel pleasure. Therefore, the first thing you should know is that sex toys aren’t intended to replace a partner; in many cases, they enrich the relationship itself.
What these different proposals give you is the chance to enjoy beyond the classic sexual script based on penetration. Above all, it means making use of other types of erotic languages, games, and practices, and also improving the connection with your partner to explore and get to know each other better.
As sex educator Tristan Taormino points out in his book The Big Book of Sex Toys (2009), you can take your intimate life from the ordinary to the extraordinary. We’ll explain more below.
Read also: Assertive Communication for Couples
A resource to achieve greater harmony
There are many couples who don’t have a satisfying sex life. Others are stuck in monotony. The Journal of Sex Research specifies in a paper that most of these problems are due to a lack of sexual communication. Indeed, a nuclear element for the intimate plane is learning to speak naturally about sex.
Bringing sex toys into our lives allows us to create a new space for exploration and self-discovery. These experiences act as that element capable of breaking the routine and originating a language based on pleasure. To achieve this, keep in mind one of the following guidelines:
- Drop prejudices and the breastplate of shame.
- Discuss an opportunity to introduce these toys into your sex life.
- Go to a store or look online for those options that arouse the most interest.
- The exploration and incorporation of these objects must start with mutual consent.
- The objective of these products is to better understand your body and that of your partner in order to find new arousal responses.
The benefits you’ll find
From the scientific journal Sexualities, a striking fact stands out: Vibrators have been with us for more than 100 years and were created for medical purposes. The goal was to treat suspected sexual disorders in both men and women. Over time, not only was their use reformulated, but there are an infinite number of typologies.
However, the most remarkable things about this class of pleasure facilitators are their benefits. We’ll explain them in detail below:
- Exploration and self-discovery: These toys allow you to discover your own body, your most erogenous zones, and those of your partner.
- Improve your intimacy: In a relationship, sex forms a pillar of great relevance. Using toys opens up other ways for them and nourishes the affective bond with new games, possibilities, and languages.
- Enhance sexual satisfaction: With toys, you realize that there are many ways to achieve arousal and climax. What’s more, they’ll bring to everyday life a space of fantasies and new possibilities.
- Overcome certain sexual problems: Investigations such as those carried out in the psychology department of the Mayo Clinic indicate that vibrators are useful in cases of sexual dysfunction. Such stimulation in the genitals benefits both men and women.
- Stress reduction and increased well-being: Have you heard that sex helps to produce endorphins and reduce stress? Therefore, the use of this type of object also improves well-being by minimizing cortisol. In addition, they strengthen the bond and complicity you share with your partner so you can be happier on a day-to-day basis.
The importance of reformulating misconceptions
Sex toys can be used alone and as a couple; Both options are valid and enriching in your relationship. It’s important to stress this detail because there are people who are uncomfortable with the fact that the loved one uses their own objects of pleasure on their own.
If you want to improve your intimate life with your partner, you need to reformulate some ideas, such as the ones we’ll proceed to present:
- Sex toys aren’t only for single people: They’re elements that also enhance the sexual life of couples.
- They don’t replace sexual partners: It’s important to understand that these objects don’t replace anyone. They’re resources for shared intimacy. Likewise, if we choose to use them in solitude from time to time, it’s valid, respectable, and also healthy.
- They’re not exclusively feminine: There’s more talk about these proposals for women than for men. But sex toys exist for men as well, and their use is significant. A study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy indicates that, in the United States, 43.8% of heterosexual men have used a vibrator in sexual interaction with their partner.
Options and purposes to discover
Sex toys for couples have as their main objective facilitating self-discovery and enhancing intimacy in the relationship. The simple act of exploring options, going to stores, or looking on the internet for the varieties that are on the market is already an incentive. This search as a couple is exciting and ignites fantasies.
Now, it’s important to know that the proposals fulfill different purposes that you can explore and combine. Here they are:
- Vaginal stimulation toys: These are classic, and among these options are clitoral suckers, penis-shaped dildos, Chinese balls, etc.
- Penis stimulation toys: These proposals are also enriching for intimacy as a couple. You find everything from rings, massagers, vibrators, etc.
- Toys for anal stimulation: These are as stimulating as they are innovative. There are prostate vibrators, Chinese balls, and anal plugs and dilators, among others.
- Remote stimulators: These types of objects are as original as they are fun. On the market, there are products such as vibrators that your partner activates by remote control, either by Bluetooth or wifi. From now on, you don’t have to be together to give one another pleasure.
- Erogenous zone explorers: The human body has multiple erogenous zones that go beyond the genitals. To find them and find new pleasures, try toys made with different textures that seek to stimulate the neck, earlobes, nipples, and feet, for example.
Find out more: Should You and Your Partner Share Your Sexual Histories?
Know how to communicate to connect and enjoy with your partner
A good partner isn’t only one that takes care of you and makes you laugh; it’s also one that cares about offering you pleasure. Sex toys are a fun way to explore new options to enhance intimacy, and as such, it’s something worth trying. To this end, don’t neglect communication; be honest about what you like or want to try.
Finally, to take care of intimate health, it’s essential to clean objects well after each use. Implementing these proposals, both alone and with your partner, makes the relationship mature and keeps the flame of desire alive.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Mallory, A. B., Stanton, A. M., & Handy, A. B. (2019). Couples’ sexual communication and dimensions of sexual function: A meta-analysis. Journal of Sex Research, 56(7), 882–898. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6699928/
- Mayr, C. (2022). Toy stories: The role of vibrators in domestic intimacies. Sexualities, 25(7), 962–980. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/13634607211000194
- Reece, M., Herbenick, D., Dodge, B., Sanders, S. A., Ghassemi, A., & Fortenberry, J. D. (2010). Vibrator use among heterosexual men varies by partnership status: results from a nationally representative study in the United States. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 36(5), 389–407. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20924935/
- Rullo, J. E., Lorenz, T., Ziegelmann, M. J., Meihofer, L., Herbenick, D., & Faubion, S. S. (2018). Genital vibration for sexual function and enhancement: best practice recommendations for choosing and safely using a vibrator. Sexual and Relationship Therapy: Journal of the British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 33(3), 275–285. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7678780/
- Taormino, Tristan (2009) The Big Book of Sex Toys. Quiver. https://books.google.co.zm/books?id=Hfly-iMkWRkC&hl=fil